;0

marketing has just presented us with a very exciting and truly exhausting -- exhaustive, ive fascinating work, guys -- report suggesting that their recent efforts have netted us a 200% saturation increase of our target audience share. we'd like to recognize each and every single one of you - we'd like to buy you flowers, take you to dinner, give you a hug. of course, that would be impossible - heck, a single medium-stemmed rose for each of our readers laid end-to-end would probably stretch to thomasville, north carolina and back three times. (that's the flowers laid end-to-end, not you guys.)
a hug for each of you that communicated sincerity and warmth but didn't last so long it became creepy would take so long that the overtime we'd have to pay our huggers would bankrupt us.
instead, we want to take a moment to let you know that we truly appreciate your patronage by passing on these words of wisdom:
here at winky shock, we never forget that

without "u" there coud be no "us."

feel free to print that out and tape it to your monitor.
all we ask is that you remember to cite winky shock, tm and copyright 2003, all rights reserved.