Thursday, May 27, 2004
attention all employees:
one of the ways we here at winkyshock aim to help you help yourselves is by implementing suggestions made by you and for you. we have recently received a wellness solution whose adoption we have decided to implement. the initiative, effective next monday, is called, "offee coffee." we have decided to help you all in breaking your dependence on coffee by making this a caffeine-free work place. a caffeine-free office will benefit drinkers and non-drinkers alike, creating a cleaner, healthier environment for all of us. caffeinated beverages will be removed from pantries on monday, and will not be permitted in workspaces. going forward, since it will be standard policy to discourage their use, caffeinated products must be consumed - if in fact you must insist harming yourself and those around you - off premises. remember, caffeine doesn't just hurt coffee drinkers, it hurts non-coffee-drinkers who are exposed to them, too.
in order to more effectively leverage the capital resources that we have invested in the new coffee machines, cup noodles will be provided in pantries on a trial basis.
we are confident that this initiative will lead to a healthier, happier, more productive and better balanced winkyshock for all of us. please continue to send your suggestions to management if you have other ideas for the continued improvement of your company. like the initiator of "offee coffee," all initiators whose ideas are adopted will receive a bonus.
thank you, and please get back to work - caffeine free, and free from caffeine!
one of the ways we here at winkyshock aim to help you help yourselves is by implementing suggestions made by you and for you. we have recently received a wellness solution whose adoption we have decided to implement. the initiative, effective next monday, is called, "offee coffee." we have decided to help you all in breaking your dependence on coffee by making this a caffeine-free work place. a caffeine-free office will benefit drinkers and non-drinkers alike, creating a cleaner, healthier environment for all of us. caffeinated beverages will be removed from pantries on monday, and will not be permitted in workspaces. going forward, since it will be standard policy to discourage their use, caffeinated products must be consumed - if in fact you must insist harming yourself and those around you - off premises. remember, caffeine doesn't just hurt coffee drinkers, it hurts non-coffee-drinkers who are exposed to them, too.
in order to more effectively leverage the capital resources that we have invested in the new coffee machines, cup noodles will be provided in pantries on a trial basis.
we are confident that this initiative will lead to a healthier, happier, more productive and better balanced winkyshock for all of us. please continue to send your suggestions to management if you have other ideas for the continued improvement of your company. like the initiator of "offee coffee," all initiators whose ideas are adopted will receive a bonus.
thank you, and please get back to work - caffeine free, and free from caffeine!
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