;0

hey, you've been on all day. can i use our computer for a minute?

in a minute. i'm IMing this girl i just met online.

whatever. it's probably not even a girl. i need to check my bank account.

right now? this girl is into me! i put up a missed connection about her, this hot girl i saw on the subway in a pleated mini skirt and she totally answered it! she emailed me back and i emailed her and now we're chatting. i swear, this is like fate. what are the chances that that girl saw my ad?! she's about to start college. two years younger, perfect.

exactly, what are the chances? it is so not the girl you saw. guaranteed. some pervy dude, i'm sure of it. that happened to my older brother once. you should get offline before he emails you a picture of his wang and gets us in trouble. lemme get online.

why are you in such a hurry?

i think my roommate's rent check might have bounced.

yeah?

yeah. the guy is a total cokehead. his internship is at least paid, so he should have money, but him and his friends hoover it all. he gets deliveries like three times a week. and they take the bathroom mirror out and leave it on the living room table all the time, so i can't even shave right in the morning.

wow, that blows.

hilarious, asshead. lemme use the computer.