Monday, October 24, 2005
F A C S I M I L E
Dear Valued Customer:
Thank you for choosing Internet DSL Information or Technology Services.
Currently we are experiencing DSL service outage. Cause of this outage is still under investigation.
If you have questions or concerns regarding this outage, please contact your service group:
support@IDIoTs.com
or at 635-999-8040.
Please note, we are experiencing phone connectivity issues at this time as well.
Dear Valued Customer:
Thank you for choosing Internet DSL Information or Technology Services.
Currently we are experiencing DSL service outage. Cause of this outage is still under investigation.
If you have questions or concerns regarding this outage, please contact your service group:
support@IDIoTs.com
or at 635-999-8040.
Please note, we are experiencing phone connectivity issues at this time as well.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Jay, you know stuff about computers, right?
A normal amount, I guess. Why, MG?
I think I uninstalled whatever it is that connects the computer to the printer. Also possibly whatever connects it to, um, the keyboard.
Is that even possible?
I don't know. I took off everything I downloaded, then a bunch of stuff that was popping up on the task manager. I think I might have gone too far.
Huh. Well, you saw that fax they posted, right?
Fax?
From the internet service provider?
No?
Said the DSL was down.
It is?
Yep.
It wasn't just my computer?
No. It was everyone.
And it wasn't my IM software that crashed everything? Or the digital radio?
Doubt it. I think it would take a lot of IMing to knock out the whole ISP service area.
I do message a lot now that no one can see behind my computer.
Probably not that much.
Shit. This means I basically stripped everything good off of my computer for nothing. And also some boring stuff which was apparently necessary.
Guess you'll have to call IT anyway.
Quit laughing, Jay.
A normal amount, I guess. Why, MG?
I think I uninstalled whatever it is that connects the computer to the printer. Also possibly whatever connects it to, um, the keyboard.
Is that even possible?
I don't know. I took off everything I downloaded, then a bunch of stuff that was popping up on the task manager. I think I might have gone too far.
Huh. Well, you saw that fax they posted, right?
Fax?
From the internet service provider?
No?
Said the DSL was down.
It is?
Yep.
It wasn't just my computer?
No. It was everyone.
And it wasn't my IM software that crashed everything? Or the digital radio?
Doubt it. I think it would take a lot of IMing to knock out the whole ISP service area.
I do message a lot now that no one can see behind my computer.
Probably not that much.
Shit. This means I basically stripped everything good off of my computer for nothing. And also some boring stuff which was apparently necessary.
Guess you'll have to call IT anyway.
Quit laughing, Jay.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Hey, MG, what's wrong?
Oh. Nothing. Sorry. I was just talking to... the computer.
Ah. How's that working out?
Not so great. Nothing's loading right.
Did you call IT?
Nah. Always takes forever for them to get here. And, well, you know what happened last time.
What happened?
They ratted on me for loading IM stuff and that internet radio thing.
Oh.
And I'm afraid that might be what's messing up the machine now. I'm gonna uninstall that stuff and if it's still not working maybe I'll call them. But your internet is okay?
I don't know, MG. I had a meeting first thing. Just been using my Blackberry for email so far today.
I'm sure it's something I did.
Oh. Nothing. Sorry. I was just talking to... the computer.
Ah. How's that working out?
Not so great. Nothing's loading right.
Did you call IT?
Nah. Always takes forever for them to get here. And, well, you know what happened last time.
What happened?
They ratted on me for loading IM stuff and that internet radio thing.
Oh.
And I'm afraid that might be what's messing up the machine now. I'm gonna uninstall that stuff and if it's still not working maybe I'll call them. But your internet is okay?
I don't know, MG. I had a meeting first thing. Just been using my Blackberry for email so far today.
I'm sure it's something I did.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Hey, MG! Wanna hear something really crazy?
Not really, Roger.
Okay, check this out. You know how I said there was a secret thirteenth floor.
Yes.
Well, there's not!
Really.
Yeah! I figured it out. I found out that sometimes in older buildings, when they built them, they were all freaked out about the number thirteen. They were like, ooooh, bad luck to work on the thirteenth floor, oooooh! So they changed the numbers!
How did you find this out, Roger?
On the Discovery channel. Ha! I knew you wouldn't believe me.
Roger, I was trying to tell you--
So, what that means is, if you think about it, the fourteenth floor is really the thirteenth floor.
Yeah.
And the fifteenth floor is really the fourteenth floor!
Uh-huh.
So that means that even though we're on the seventeenth floor, it's really - wait, hold on - um, it's really the sixteenth floor.
Huh.
Well? Isn't that crazy?
Sure.
Not really, Roger.
Okay, check this out. You know how I said there was a secret thirteenth floor.
Yes.
Well, there's not!
Really.
Yeah! I figured it out. I found out that sometimes in older buildings, when they built them, they were all freaked out about the number thirteen. They were like, ooooh, bad luck to work on the thirteenth floor, oooooh! So they changed the numbers!
How did you find this out, Roger?
On the Discovery channel. Ha! I knew you wouldn't believe me.
Roger, I was trying to tell you--
So, what that means is, if you think about it, the fourteenth floor is really the thirteenth floor.
Yeah.
And the fifteenth floor is really the fourteenth floor!
Uh-huh.
So that means that even though we're on the seventeenth floor, it's really - wait, hold on - um, it's really the sixteenth floor.
Huh.
Well? Isn't that crazy?
Sure.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Uh, Jay?
Hey, MG. What's up?
Did I piss everybody off again or something?
I don't know. Did you?
I don't know. I can't think of anything, but.
But what?
But, okay, this is going to sound really weird and paranoid, but I swear it's true.
Shoot.
That whole area that had boxes in it in my office is full of trash bags now!
Trash bags?
Yeah, black and white trash bags, different sizes. All piled up.
Oh. Near the donations?
What?
The donations. The Katrina Relief Action Plan donations?
I don't know what... what?
Didn't you get the email? You must have, right? Since it's your office?
Um, I don't think so, Jay.
You'd think they'd tell you. Your office is the designated Katrina Relief Action Plan drop-off point for the department.
Oh. That's what's in my office? They still haven't sent that stuff out?
Guess not.
And they're stashing it in my office? I don't get a say in this?
Dunno. The email said, I think, that you "generously offered to contribute your space" or something.
Huh. I'd like offer something.
Hey, MG. What's up?
Did I piss everybody off again or something?
I don't know. Did you?
I don't know. I can't think of anything, but.
But what?
But, okay, this is going to sound really weird and paranoid, but I swear it's true.
Shoot.
That whole area that had boxes in it in my office is full of trash bags now!
Trash bags?
Yeah, black and white trash bags, different sizes. All piled up.
Oh. Near the donations?
What?
The donations. The Katrina Relief Action Plan donations?
I don't know what... what?
Didn't you get the email? You must have, right? Since it's your office?
Um, I don't think so, Jay.
You'd think they'd tell you. Your office is the designated Katrina Relief Action Plan drop-off point for the department.
Oh. That's what's in my office? They still haven't sent that stuff out?
Guess not.
And they're stashing it in my office? I don't get a say in this?
Dunno. The email said, I think, that you "generously offered to contribute your space" or something.
Huh. I'd like offer something.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Attention all employees:
Congratulations on the "storm" of goodwill you showed in the first annual company wide hurricane relief campaign, "Winkyshock, Inc. Cares." Unfortunately because of some weaknesses in the coordination schema, some of your workspaces look like it was them that got hit by a hurricane. Because neatness is a Winkyshock "Core Value," all employees are reminded to report to their departmental relief coordinator with their donated items by the COB tomorrow. Remember, "we can't help others, if our working area is cluttered."
Now, get back to work.
Congratulations on the "storm" of goodwill you showed in the first annual company wide hurricane relief campaign, "Winkyshock, Inc. Cares." Unfortunately because of some weaknesses in the coordination schema, some of your workspaces look like it was them that got hit by a hurricane. Because neatness is a Winkyshock "Core Value," all employees are reminded to report to their departmental relief coordinator with their donated items by the COB tomorrow. Remember, "we can't help others, if our working area is cluttered."
Now, get back to work.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Well, MG, you think you're pretty funny.
You think I'm pretty, Alana? Thank you!
You need to take things seriously once in a while. I told you to get rid of those boxes, so you mess around for three weeks and then dump them around my cubicle? Are you trying to get fired? There are procedures that have to be followed!
That's exactly what I was trying to do, Alana.
Really.
Well, yeah. You said to throw them out, but I thought that might be wasteful, depending on what they were. So I checked with Nina, and she said to just give them back to whoever they belonged to.
So you want me to try to clean up your mess.
Nope. Just thought you might want your boxes back. In fact, if you look at the new edition of the employee handbook, chapter 12, I believe, it specifically states that one employee disposing of another employee's property is an infraction under section--
My property? New employee handbooks? MG, what are you talking about? You saw the new employee handbooks? MG, I have been looking everywhere for those! I've been calling the distributor every day! We were supposed to receive those weeks ago!
Months. And we did. They're at your desk, in the boxes. Thought you might want them. Like I said, I told Nina that you told me to throw them all out. She didn't look that pleased, to be honest. I don't think she agreed that chucking out all those brand new books would be proper procedure. But now that you have the handbooks, you can check up on that. She said something about scheduling a meeting with you, so I guess maybe you guys can discuss it then?
MG, you do not understand the concept of responsibility.
Run it past me again - something about losing track of a delivery meant for company-wide distribution, then trying to throw it all away?
MG, somebody is really going to be in trouble here.
Yeah, I think you're right.
You think I'm pretty, Alana? Thank you!
You need to take things seriously once in a while. I told you to get rid of those boxes, so you mess around for three weeks and then dump them around my cubicle? Are you trying to get fired? There are procedures that have to be followed!
That's exactly what I was trying to do, Alana.
Really.
Well, yeah. You said to throw them out, but I thought that might be wasteful, depending on what they were. So I checked with Nina, and she said to just give them back to whoever they belonged to.
So you want me to try to clean up your mess.
Nope. Just thought you might want your boxes back. In fact, if you look at the new edition of the employee handbook, chapter 12, I believe, it specifically states that one employee disposing of another employee's property is an infraction under section--
My property? New employee handbooks? MG, what are you talking about? You saw the new employee handbooks? MG, I have been looking everywhere for those! I've been calling the distributor every day! We were supposed to receive those weeks ago!
Months. And we did. They're at your desk, in the boxes. Thought you might want them. Like I said, I told Nina that you told me to throw them all out. She didn't look that pleased, to be honest. I don't think she agreed that chucking out all those brand new books would be proper procedure. But now that you have the handbooks, you can check up on that. She said something about scheduling a meeting with you, so I guess maybe you guys can discuss it then?
MG, you do not understand the concept of responsibility.
Run it past me again - something about losing track of a delivery meant for company-wide distribution, then trying to throw it all away?
MG, somebody is really going to be in trouble here.
Yeah, I think you're right.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
MG, I think I know how to solve the thirteenth floor question.
Roger, there's not really a question. I've been trying to tell you, when they built older buildings--
Seriously, check this out. It's so simple. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. Just check the employee handbook!
The employee handbook?
Yeah! I looked at the last one and there was nothing on it--
Imagine that.
But I bet the newest edition has something about it!
Huh.
So, can I have a copy of the new one?
There's a new one? Roger, you're asking me?
Yeah! Come on, MG, you can slip me one. I won't tell.
Roger, why would I be able to give you a new employee handbook? I don't know anything about the employee handbooks, old, new or otherwise.
Okay, very funny, MG.
I can hardly think of anything less funny than the employee handbook, Roger.
Just one, MG. I don't need a whole box. I'll give it back if you want.
Roger, what on earth makes you think I have a new copy of the employee handbook?
A new copy? MG, I know you don't think I'm a genius, but I'm not blind.
You're making less sense than usual.
You've had like 50 boxes of the new employee handbooks sitting in here forever.
I’ve what?
Hello? That huge pile of boxes? That I wanted to borrow to make a fort out of in July and you said no? You don’t have to pretend that you forgot what they are just to get out of lending me one.
Roger, are you saying you know what those boxes are?
Who’s not making sense now, MG?
How do you know what the boxes are, Roger?
Duh, because the delivery guy came from the publishing house that day and tried to deliver them to Alana, and she said she didn’t have time to deal with it, so she told me to just have the guy dump them in your office and—
Roger, these were supposed to go to Alana?
Yup. But she was like, “Where am I supposed to put all those boxes in this little cubicle?” So I just showed him where your office was and—
That is amazing.
Well, I think it’s amazing that you won’t even let me look at one.
Roger, you can have one. You can have ten. In fact, how about I take you to lunch today?
Well, me and Jay are going to Hooters for wings today.
Fine. Hooters it is. On me.
Sweet! MG, I didn’t know you cared so much about the employee handbook.
Roger, I fucking love the employee handbook.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
MG, tell me I am hallucinating.
Good morning, Alana. Yes, thank you. I just got these earrings yesterday.
What? I didn’t say anything about earrings. I said tell me I am seeing things. Because I see boxes here and I know I—
Yes, well, someone came up from the mailroom to deal with them, but the batteries on the—
Alana – sorry to interrupt MG – but, Alana, there’s a phone call for you. I don’t know who it is but they’re all like, it’s totally urgent.
Okay, Leah. I’ll be right there. MG, I’ll be back in a minute with a non-compliance form for you to fill out. This is serious now.
Okay, Alana. I’ll be here. Non-complying.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
MG, did you miss me?
Miss you, Roger? Were you away?
I was gone all day! I wasn't really gone. In fact, I was very close. Guess where I was?
Couldn't.
Come on, I'll give you a hint. I was very close, but you couldn't see me.
Um, you were... sitting in your office?
No! That would be just like always, so then you wouldn't have to guess.
How about if I don't have to guess anyway?
Okay, MG. I'll tell you. But you're no fun.
I'm fine with that.
I was locked in the stairwell.
Huh.
Don't you want to know what happened?
No.
Well, I was looking for the door to the thirteenth floor. But when I got into the stairwell, I couldn't get out.
Roger, weren't we just talking about the signs that say "no re-entry?"
Yeah. I thought those were a trick, just to keep people out. It turns out they're not. The doors really lock behind you when you go in!
Imagine.
So I was in there, and I tried the door, and I was stuck!
How'd you get out?
I McDonalded it.
You what?
That means, like, when you use regular McDonalds stuff to get out of a totally impossible situation.
Um--
It was so lucky, MG! I had my supersize breakfast Coke with me, so after I tried the door on every floor, I came back to our floor and used the straw to slide the door knob bolt thing open.
Roger, I think it's MacGyver.
No, it was McDonald's. I've never heard of that place. Is that, one of your weird health food things?
Miss you, Roger? Were you away?
I was gone all day! I wasn't really gone. In fact, I was very close. Guess where I was?
Couldn't.
Come on, I'll give you a hint. I was very close, but you couldn't see me.
Um, you were... sitting in your office?
No! That would be just like always, so then you wouldn't have to guess.
How about if I don't have to guess anyway?
Okay, MG. I'll tell you. But you're no fun.
I'm fine with that.
I was locked in the stairwell.
Huh.
Don't you want to know what happened?
No.
Well, I was looking for the door to the thirteenth floor. But when I got into the stairwell, I couldn't get out.
Roger, weren't we just talking about the signs that say "no re-entry?"
Yeah. I thought those were a trick, just to keep people out. It turns out they're not. The doors really lock behind you when you go in!
Imagine.
So I was in there, and I tried the door, and I was stuck!
How'd you get out?
I McDonalded it.
You what?
That means, like, when you use regular McDonalds stuff to get out of a totally impossible situation.
Um--
It was so lucky, MG! I had my supersize breakfast Coke with me, so after I tried the door on every floor, I came back to our floor and used the straw to slide the door knob bolt thing open.
Roger, I think it's MacGyver.
No, it was McDonald's. I've never heard of that place. Is that, one of your weird health food things?
Monday, October 10, 2005
Leah, did you ever, like, find out what we're supposed to do with this stuff?
Oh my god, Joni, the Katrina stuff?
Yeah. I brought in all this old stuff that doesn't fit me anymore, and it's been under my desk, and I just wonder, like, if we're supposed to do something with it?
Joni, I know! My boyfriend was like, "You know, Leah, you could get rid of some stuff. You have so much clothes." And I was like, "Shut up! I know." He is totally right. I thought, I could get rid of some stuff. So I got rid of all these tops that, like, I used to think were really cute? But now when I look at them I'm like, blech, how did I ever wear that, you know?
I know! I'm the exact same. All these tops, I'm like, "eww, I wore that?" Gross!
Totally. But you know what, this top, I hate it now, but I used to love it. It might look cute on you! I'm too big on top for it now, but I think your boobs are small enough.
Really? Oh my god, that is cute. And this might totally work on you.
Joni! Should we take our donation bags into the bathroom and try on each other's stuff?
Oh my god! Yes! Wait, would that, like, be wrong? Since it's supposed to be for the hurricane victims?
Oh, Joni. If we end up not giving a top or something to them, it's not like we're throwing it away. We're still using it. Anyway, it's not like we're taking anything away from them, if we never gave it to them in the first place. Is that cashmere?
Oh my god, Joni, the Katrina stuff?
Yeah. I brought in all this old stuff that doesn't fit me anymore, and it's been under my desk, and I just wonder, like, if we're supposed to do something with it?
Joni, I know! My boyfriend was like, "You know, Leah, you could get rid of some stuff. You have so much clothes." And I was like, "Shut up! I know." He is totally right. I thought, I could get rid of some stuff. So I got rid of all these tops that, like, I used to think were really cute? But now when I look at them I'm like, blech, how did I ever wear that, you know?
I know! I'm the exact same. All these tops, I'm like, "eww, I wore that?" Gross!
Totally. But you know what, this top, I hate it now, but I used to love it. It might look cute on you! I'm too big on top for it now, but I think your boobs are small enough.
Really? Oh my god, that is cute. And this might totally work on you.
Joni! Should we take our donation bags into the bathroom and try on each other's stuff?
Oh my god! Yes! Wait, would that, like, be wrong? Since it's supposed to be for the hurricane victims?
Oh, Joni. If we end up not giving a top or something to them, it's not like we're throwing it away. We're still using it. Anyway, it's not like we're taking anything away from them, if we never gave it to them in the first place. Is that cashmere?
Friday, October 07, 2005
Hey, MG! It's even deeper than I thought!
Roger?
Check it out. The thirteenth floor mystery. I think I'm onto something big.
Roger--
Shh. We should only whisper about this because-- hold on, let me hear what your whisper sounds like.
What?
No! Shh! Try whispering. I want to make sure you can do it quietly enough before I tell you.
For godsake.
No! Quieter.
Like this, Roger?
Sweet. Good whisper. Okay, MG. Here it is. I took the steps downstairs to see what's on thirteen, and guess what! Go on, guess!
There was no thirteenth floor?
No! There was no thirteenth floor! Oh. Yeah.
Roger, in a lot of older buildings--
But I have a theory! Just because there's no door for it in the stairwell, doesn't mean it's totally not there. I think it might be a half floor.
A half floor?
Shh! Yes. Like the floor above it and below it look normal, but they're each actually a little shorter than the rest, and with the extra space, they put in a secret half floor.
A secret half floor with no door and no elevator.
Yes. No obvious door. I only went down one stairwell. There are lots. And look! They try to keep you out by writing "No re-entry." See? That shows, they don't want us to know what's going on.
Roger, I think it's just because when they built the building, people were super--
I'm going to go into one of the other stairways on Monday and find the half floor.
You'll get stuck, Roger.
Nah, they just say that to try to keep you out. You'll see! The doors don't really lock.
Roger?
Check it out. The thirteenth floor mystery. I think I'm onto something big.
Roger--
Shh. We should only whisper about this because-- hold on, let me hear what your whisper sounds like.
What?
No! Shh! Try whispering. I want to make sure you can do it quietly enough before I tell you.
For godsake.
No! Quieter.
Like this, Roger?
Sweet. Good whisper. Okay, MG. Here it is. I took the steps downstairs to see what's on thirteen, and guess what! Go on, guess!
There was no thirteenth floor?
No! There was no thirteenth floor! Oh. Yeah.
Roger, in a lot of older buildings--
But I have a theory! Just because there's no door for it in the stairwell, doesn't mean it's totally not there. I think it might be a half floor.
A half floor?
Shh! Yes. Like the floor above it and below it look normal, but they're each actually a little shorter than the rest, and with the extra space, they put in a secret half floor.
A secret half floor with no door and no elevator.
Yes. No obvious door. I only went down one stairwell. There are lots. And look! They try to keep you out by writing "No re-entry." See? That shows, they don't want us to know what's going on.
Roger, I think it's just because when they built the building, people were super--
I'm going to go into one of the other stairways on Monday and find the half floor.
You'll get stuck, Roger.
Nah, they just say that to try to keep you out. You'll see! The doors don't really lock.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Christopher! Hey. Come on in. Do you have the laser gun thinger?
Yeah, I brought it. Do you authorize me to use it on these packages?
Of course! I've been begging you to use it on those packages!
I actually have to ask. And now I just need you to sign here to show that you actually authorize--
What? Okay, sure, sure. Here.
Okay. Now I can actually get started.
Terrific. Thank you, Christopher.
Okay.
Alright.
I just actually have to find the, whaddyacallit.
The what?
To turn it on.
The on switch?
Yeah. This should actually be it, but, hm.
What's wrong?
I don't know. It doesn't seem to be working.
Is it...
I don't know, actually. Maybe the battery is dead. I need to take this one down and come back with one that's charged.
Oh. Okay. Do you think you'd be able to do that right away?
Actually, you'd probably have to make a new appointment.
Yeah, I brought it. Do you authorize me to use it on these packages?
Of course! I've been begging you to use it on those packages!
I actually have to ask. And now I just need you to sign here to show that you actually authorize--
What? Okay, sure, sure. Here.
Okay. Now I can actually get started.
Terrific. Thank you, Christopher.
Okay.
Alright.
I just actually have to find the, whaddyacallit.
The what?
To turn it on.
The on switch?
Yeah. This should actually be it, but, hm.
What's wrong?
I don't know. It doesn't seem to be working.
Is it...
I don't know, actually. Maybe the battery is dead. I need to take this one down and come back with one that's charged.
Oh. Okay. Do you think you'd be able to do that right away?
Actually, you'd probably have to make a new appointment.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Okay, MG. We really need to engage here to find out where we're not communicating.
Hi, Alana. I'm doing great today, thanks. And yourself?
What? Look. I think I made myself beyond clear. You need to clear out all this stuff.
Yes, I'm already, uh, engaged in that process.
Obviously you are not, because there is still a large pile of boxes in space - not your own personal space, but company space - that has been requisitioned for another use.
That reminds me, Alana, what is that other use?
You'll see soon enough. Tomorrow morning. When these boxes are disposed of.
You don't really want me to just throw away a dozen new, sealed boxes without knowing what's in them?
I'm sure if it was anything important, whoever's responsible would have taken them by now. I'm not really comfortable with your lack of responsiveness on this issue.
Well, I'm not really comfortable throwing out a ton of stuff when we don't know what it is. That's why I asked, we could say engaged even, the mailroom, uh, protocol, to leverage their core competencies to investigate the nature of the box situation.
I see. Well, that does sound like you're implementing proper protocols, if a little bit more slowly than we'd like to see. First thing tomorrow morning. And MG, I think you're forgetting that this isn't your own home.
You can see how that would be an easy mistake.
What was that?
Nothing. I said, That would be a mistake.
Hi, Alana. I'm doing great today, thanks. And yourself?
What? Look. I think I made myself beyond clear. You need to clear out all this stuff.
Yes, I'm already, uh, engaged in that process.
Obviously you are not, because there is still a large pile of boxes in space - not your own personal space, but company space - that has been requisitioned for another use.
That reminds me, Alana, what is that other use?
You'll see soon enough. Tomorrow morning. When these boxes are disposed of.
You don't really want me to just throw away a dozen new, sealed boxes without knowing what's in them?
I'm sure if it was anything important, whoever's responsible would have taken them by now. I'm not really comfortable with your lack of responsiveness on this issue.
Well, I'm not really comfortable throwing out a ton of stuff when we don't know what it is. That's why I asked, we could say engaged even, the mailroom, uh, protocol, to leverage their core competencies to investigate the nature of the box situation.
I see. Well, that does sound like you're implementing proper protocols, if a little bit more slowly than we'd like to see. First thing tomorrow morning. And MG, I think you're forgetting that this isn't your own home.
You can see how that would be an easy mistake.
What was that?
Nothing. I said, That would be a mistake.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Hey, MG! Do you know what I just noticed?
Roger, I couldn't guess.
Check this out - this is super freaky. There's a missing floor!
Missing.
Yes!
How's that?
The elevator skips a floor going up.
Roger, just because the elevator doesn't stop at a floor doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Ha-ha! That's where I've got you. I've totally got you on that!
Yeah?
Yeah! Yes! Busted!
Okay, okay, what do you mean?
Today when I was coming up the elevator, I was counting each floor in my head when we went past it. Like when we went past two, inside my head I said, "Two!" Like that. For each floor. And I was looking at each button when I said its number. And that's when I noticed!
Noticed...
Ready, MG? That's when I noticed that there is no thirteenth floor button!
Hm.
So that means that the elevator doesn't stop at the thirteenth floor. It must be top secret. I bet that's where Winkyshock keeps its labs.
Labs, Roger? You think our company has labs?
Well, it must be. Or something like that. Something totally classified. I'm going to figure it out.
Yeah?
Yeah. Later I'm gonna take the stairs to thirteen and see just what they're up to there.
Roger, I think it's just that--
Shh. MG. Don't talk about it anymore. We can't let them know that we know.
Roger, I couldn't guess.
Check this out - this is super freaky. There's a missing floor!
Missing.
Yes!
How's that?
The elevator skips a floor going up.
Roger, just because the elevator doesn't stop at a floor doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Ha-ha! That's where I've got you. I've totally got you on that!
Yeah?
Yeah! Yes! Busted!
Okay, okay, what do you mean?
Today when I was coming up the elevator, I was counting each floor in my head when we went past it. Like when we went past two, inside my head I said, "Two!" Like that. For each floor. And I was looking at each button when I said its number. And that's when I noticed!
Noticed...
Ready, MG? That's when I noticed that there is no thirteenth floor button!
Hm.
So that means that the elevator doesn't stop at the thirteenth floor. It must be top secret. I bet that's where Winkyshock keeps its labs.
Labs, Roger? You think our company has labs?
Well, it must be. Or something like that. Something totally classified. I'm going to figure it out.
Yeah?
Yeah. Later I'm gonna take the stairs to thirteen and see just what they're up to there.
Roger, I think it's just that--
Shh. MG. Don't talk about it anymore. We can't let them know that we know.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Hi, MG.
Hello? Oh, Christopher! Is that you? Hi, how are you? Come in. Uh, wattup?
I'm okay, thanks. You got an office.
Yeah, at least for a little while. It's just temporary, um, all up in here.
A ha.
So, you're, um, not really doing the whole baggy pants thing now.
No.
And you went back to blue, your eyes.
Yes.
Oh. Okay, word! I mean, great. And you're still in the mailroom.
Yeah, I'm an assistant manager now. So, what can I help you with? You had some boxes?
Right, yes. Those, over there.
And what's actually the problem?
Well, they only have shipping bar codes, and we need to figure out where they're supposed to be going, so I can get them out of here. Alana said to just chuck them, but I thought we should see whose they are. Then, probably, they'll throw them out. But, whatever. Can you tell from the bar code who they belong to?
Oh. Yes, I could, if I actually had the bar code gun.
You don't have it?
No. I'll actually have to come back with it.
Oh! Well, do you think you could sort of get it and come back right away?
I actually have a lot of other rounds to do, so it might be tomorrow before I can get to it.
Christopher, we've kind of been waiting a few days already. Is there any way--
Once I get the gun up here it will only take a second.
That's why I was thinking, if you could just do it real quick today--
I can try, but I'm not sure I'll actually be upstairs again today.
Okay, well, how about this? How about if we just tear one of the bar codes off, and you could take it down to the mailroom, shoot it real quick or whatever you do, then call me with the name?
I don't think I can actually do that.
Really?
I think that would be 'interfering with or obstructing mail integrity' and that's actually a federal offense.
Okay. Okay. Just please try to come back as soon as you can. Alana is desperate to get these out of here for some reason.
Hello? Oh, Christopher! Is that you? Hi, how are you? Come in. Uh, wattup?
I'm okay, thanks. You got an office.
Yeah, at least for a little while. It's just temporary, um, all up in here.
A ha.
So, you're, um, not really doing the whole baggy pants thing now.
No.
And you went back to blue, your eyes.
Yes.
Oh. Okay, word! I mean, great. And you're still in the mailroom.
Yeah, I'm an assistant manager now. So, what can I help you with? You had some boxes?
Right, yes. Those, over there.
And what's actually the problem?
Well, they only have shipping bar codes, and we need to figure out where they're supposed to be going, so I can get them out of here. Alana said to just chuck them, but I thought we should see whose they are. Then, probably, they'll throw them out. But, whatever. Can you tell from the bar code who they belong to?
Oh. Yes, I could, if I actually had the bar code gun.
You don't have it?
No. I'll actually have to come back with it.
Oh! Well, do you think you could sort of get it and come back right away?
I actually have a lot of other rounds to do, so it might be tomorrow before I can get to it.
Christopher, we've kind of been waiting a few days already. Is there any way--
Once I get the gun up here it will only take a second.
That's why I was thinking, if you could just do it real quick today--
I can try, but I'm not sure I'll actually be upstairs again today.
Okay, well, how about this? How about if we just tear one of the bar codes off, and you could take it down to the mailroom, shoot it real quick or whatever you do, then call me with the name?
I don't think I can actually do that.
Really?
I think that would be 'interfering with or obstructing mail integrity' and that's actually a federal offense.
Okay. Okay. Just please try to come back as soon as you can. Alana is desperate to get these out of here for some reason.
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