Friday, April 22, 2005
I know, Vin. This office is bigger than the entire first apartment I lived in in the city. And that was with two roommates.
Don't say that! Repressed memories flooding back, flooding back -- phew. Repressed again. You couldn't pay me to go back to those days. Please tell me you have a better living situation now, MG?
This office is still twice the size of my bedroom, but now I only have one roommate, and she's all the way on the other side of an actual sort-of living room. Moving up, Vin.
What are we going to do with this little home away from home?
I was just going to get rid of some of these boxes.
And?
And, I don't know, maybe hang up a calendar?
No, no, no! You can't leave it at that! This is an opportunity! You can really make this space yours! Make it soothe! Make it sing!
Vin, I don't think I get to stay here very long. There's no point in decorating or whatever if I'm just going to get kicked out again.
MG, that's like saying what's the point of dusting if it's just going to get dusty again! Like saying, what's the point of making my bed if I'm just going to sleep in it again!
Hm, actually, Vin--
You don't have to decide now. But start to think about design themes and color schemes over the weekend, and I'll bring you some books on Feng Shui on Monday. This is going to be so fun!
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Hey, Joni. You getting settled in?
Yes, hi, MG! I sure am.
You really got that desk cleaned up.
Oh, yes! I can’t stand to work in clutter! Clear desk, clear mind, right? That reminds me, I found these old dry cleaning receipts. They only have a phone number, no name, on them. Somebody’s been missing their pants for a long time! Who should I give them to?
Uh, I can take those. So. I thought we could go over some of the things you’ll be doing here. Do you want to walk down the hall with me and take a look at the copier? It can be a little tricky, with the touch screen and the key pad and all. I just kind of leave alone the more advanced features, but I can give you the quick rundown on it.
Sure. It’s a Ricoh Aficio 2022, right?
Uhm, it might be. That sounds like it might be right.
That machine is my baby! I’m sure there’s always more to learn, but, at my last job, I used to run little impromptu seminars on how to get the most out of it.
Oh. Okay. We’ll skip that, then. Do you want to open up Outlook, and I can show you some of the functions you’ll want to know? I can try to get you set up with access to Nina’s calendar. Might take a little trial and error, but I should be able to fudge us through it.
Outlook, I love Outlook. Such a timesaver! I already showed Nina how to designate access to me, and I got everyone set up so that we can all sync up meeting schedules automatically. I thought it was really sweet that you used to send out all the announcements individually. I supported three execs at once at my last job, and I never would’ve been able to keep track of it all if I didn’t let Outlook do the heavy lifting for me. You must be incredibly organized!
Right. Yes. I, uh, get that a lot. So, I guess we can move on, then. Should we go over the spreadsheets?
Great! I love Excel. Total lifesaver! I use it at home to keep track of all the planning for my wedding. You know how crazy that gets! Anything they toss at me here will be a piece of cake compared to putting together a bash for 350 people in only sixteen months. Where would we be without spreadsheets, right?
Sure. Okay, so it sounds like you have the basics down. The other thing I guess you should know about working here is, well, I hope everyone’s being cool with you. Some of the people here can be a little…
Everyone has been unbelievably great. Alana came and brought me a whole box of brand new office supplies before I even asked, and her and Leah took me out to lunch yesterday. They said they’re going to take me and my fiancé out for drinks next week as sort of a welcome to the office. You’re coming too, right? Don’t you love working with such an incredibly nice group of girls?
It is really incredible.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
MG! Check you out in your new digs!
Hey, Jay. Not bad, right? I still can't believe it's true. Hey, do you want any of this stuff?
What, Rob's old stuff? What did he leave?
God, what didn't he leave? Look at this!
Wow! All his action figures!
Yep. And a whole drawer of little bags of forks, soy sauce, and mustard.
Oh, yeah. Rob and Roger and I always used to order Chinese.
There's some Advantage:Male vitamins, origami throwing stars, and a whole cup of pens that are mostly dried out. I just threw out a styrofoam cup that had a congealed layer of brown in the bottom. All his little phone numbers and to-do lists are still stuck around the edges of the monitor, and there was like a half-inch layer of dust on all of it.
Or like, did you ever see the website that Russian girl made, where she goes around
Um, no, MG.
You should check it out. It's eerie. Dead zone, or something. Anyway. This office is kind of like that. Kind of. But probably, you know. Less radioactive.
Hope so. I’ll take my chances with those vitamins, if you don’t mind. And maybe me and Roger can split up the action figures. I mean, if you don’t want them.
Knock yourself out.
You’ll probably want to hold on to the ninja stars, though.
Yeah?
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Oh, hi, Alana. Come on in.
I am in. Nina told me to come and see if you need any supplies. But that's not policy. Just because you switch desks, doesn't mean you get all new things.
Oh, yeah, well, I left a lot of stuff at the old desk for Joni. So I could use a few things for in here, some post-its, a new sharpie--
Well, don't tell me. You still have to go through the SNM, just like everybody else. Just because you accidentally have an office now doesn't mean you can just boss people--
Alana, you just asked if I needed anything. I'm not bossing anyone around. I'll do that online-ordering-whatever thing as soon as they get me networked onto this computer. Anyway, there's no hurry. I'm just clearing out all the papers and action figures that Rob left here, and helping Joni get acclimated, so I don't need anything right off anyway.
Well, good. Because you can't just snap your fingers and get new office supplies like magic. Even if that is how you got this office.
Hey, look, Alana, I'm as surprised as anyone else about this. I know it's just a fluke, and it's just temporary until they figure out exactly what's going on. It could have been any one of us, you know? I'm just going to get settled in for now, and enjoy actually being able to see daylight for a change.
Well, I hope you don't get too used to it. You're going to have to go back to a cubicle as soon as they get everything straightened out.
Alana, I don't doubt it for a second. In the meantime, could you just pull that door shut behind you when you go?
Monday, April 18, 2005
Hey, Roger. Yep. Happy to say, it looks like we are. Til they figure out where they're going to put me, at least.
Would you be mine! Could you be mine! Won't you be, my neighbor!
What?
I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you, I've always wanted to live on the neighborhood! With you!
Ah, ha, Mister Rogers fan, eh? I watched that, too.
What do you mean?
That song. From Mister Rogers.
That song is not from Mister Rogers.
Sure it is. It's the theme song.
Uh, excuse me, MG, but that song is from Sesame Street.
No it's not, it's Mister Rogers. Mister Rogers' Neighborhood?
No, see? Big Bird sings it, to Oscar. Because it goes, Let's make a toast to the beautiful day, since we have feathers, we might as well say--
Roger, it's "Since we're together." Not "feathers."
Anyway, I'm sure it was Sesame Street. Because Big Bird and Oscar were neighbors. Mister Rogers was just one old guy. So why would he be singing about neighbors, all by himself? See? It doesn't make sense. Busted! This rocks. I can quiz you on a different song every day now that we're neighbors. Do you want to be Big Bird or Oscar?
Um…
I'm Big Bird! Ha! That means you have to be the grouch!
Eh, I'm okay with that. Neighbor.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Hi, Nina. Just clearing some stuff out of the cubicle.
Yes, I heard, I heard. I am so glad things are resolved now. I was thinking, MG, Joni will be in HR all afternoon, so after you clear your things out of the cube, why don't you just go ahead and call it a day today? Come in fresh on Monday and spend the week training her.
Really?
Sure. We talked about it, and we think it would be best, the big man and I.
Thanks. That would be great.
Good, MG. I'm just on my way to Starbucks. Can I pick something up for you?
Really?
Of course, MG. Why not?
Hi! I am. Joni. Joni Spar. Great to meet you! I'm so excited to be aboard here! Thank you!
Um, great. I actually didn't have a whole lot to do with it. But, I am going to help get you, sort of, situated.
Oh, great! I've been wondering who's going to show me the ropes, help get me up to speed.
That'll be me. Let's start by getting you settled into your cubicle. Follow me.
My own workspace! This is exciting! Oh, is this it?
Yep.
Oh. Okay, teriffic! There's really a lot of potential. I'll get right down to clearing away all this old stuff to make way for the new! Wow, there is really a pile here! I wonder what the last person was like? Not a lot of pictures or anything, I think I can really bring some sunshine to this spot. I feel bad for whoever was here before. It's like she didn't have any fun at all with this space!
Hm.
What are we going to do about all this stuff? Should I box it up? Or sort through it? I could start filing the papers, and gather up the personal items. Maybe I should just throw out this old coffee cup? I can't imagine she'd want it back, it looks like it hasn't been washed in--
Joni, I'll take care of that stuff. Why don't you just have a seat and try to get logged into the system, just take a minute and settle in. Have a cup of coffee--
I don't drink coffee! It makes me really wound up. I am ready to go!
Okay. You, um, go, and I'll just grab some of this stuff and come back to check on you in a little bit, okay?
Okay, sure! I'll be here waiting, ready for marching orders!
And that coffee cup? It's clean. It's just stained.
Yeah, Jay. I'm fine. I think it was... fine. I think.
Um, no thanks.
I’m fine. I just had some.
Okay, okay, great. Now. What can I do for you? What’s going on?
I’m hoping you can tell me. And I don’t want to be, whatever, about this, but I’d appreciate it if we could just cut to the point.
I understand this wasn’t communicated to you the way it should have been, and I really want to apologize for that. MG, I am sorry.
Oh. Um, thanks.
I wasn’t directly involved with the way it was handled, and--, ah, fuck that, I am ultimately the boss here, or so they tell me, so I would like to take personal responsibility for this and, really, apologize. The way this played out was really, just, shitty.
Yeah. It was. It is. I mean, what is going on? What does this even mean? Am I fired?
No, no. No. They - we - do have to figure some stuff out. But you should know, this has nothing to do with you. It’s a company-wide, what do they call it, reconfiguration. There are supposed to be a certain number of people in certain level positions, and they were trying to bring the department into line with the corporate… whatever. I bet you care less about that and more about more immediate stuff.
Yeah. Like, do I even have a place to sit? I saw someone standing by my cubicle. And I bet my computer has been wiped clean by now, since that’s how I heard about this in the first place.
How’s that?
From the tech guy! I heard about this when the tech guy, who is extorting from your employees, by the way, told me he was “switching over” my computer.
Whoa, whoa. You what? He what? Unbelievable. Unfuckingbelievable. Look, I just have to apologize again. I cannot believe you were treated like that. People should not be treated like that. Okay, MG, what do you want to do?
I just want to have a place to sit and do whatever it is I’m supposed to do.
No. I mean, what do you want to do? I can tell you’re bright. You’re not life-long admin material, anyone can see that. What were you hoping to do before you ended up buried in spreadsheets here?
Um, really?
Yes, really! It’s a crime the way we let talented people get beat down around here, suck out every drop of ambition. It’s like we’re taking our own best resources and crapping all over them. What do you want to do? Do you mind if I smoke, by the way?
I don’t mind at all, but, in here?
That’s the single other perk of being the boss. Want one?
Um, sure, thanks. If you don’t mind. Thanks. Mm. Well, I was one course short of getting an MFA in interactive graphic design when they cut off the tuition reimbursement program here. I’ve been trying to do freelance web design on the side, but--
But who the hell can take on a second full-time job when they leave here wiped out and pissed off everyday? Right?
Um, yeah, basically.
MG. My god. MG, I don’t know if you’ve heard anything about our IT revamp.
There was some contest a while back…
Oh. Yeah. That. Another shining example of some committee’s idea of getting people involved. Because middle managers need to be involved in redesigning our IT department. Don’t get me started. Anyway. Part of the revamp is going to be finally getting a decent, user-friendly website up and running. They’ve set aside a ridiculous budget to hire contractors for it, but maybe we could create a position to do it in-house. I can’t make you any promises, but I’m going to think about this.
Wow.
I’m going to think about this seriously, and fast. It is the least we could do, the decent thing to do, after this whole butter-fingered goatfuck you got wrapped up in. I want to make this up to you. I have heard a lot about you, you know.
Oh. Really? From Nina? From HR, probably.
No, no. From my nephew. Roger. That kid is crazy about you. Speaks very highly.
Really?
Sure thing. In his way. Roger being Roger, I think what he says is that you’re “totally awesome.”
He does?
Mmhm. And I gotta say, I really appreciate that. I know he can be a little… trying. Needs a lot of attention. But he’s a good kid. Been through a lot, he really has, and it’s always been amazing to me how he stays so upbeat.
He is upbeat.
See? But you can’t help smiling a little, right? Look, I’m sure he probably drives you crazy, he drives me crazy, but you’re nice to him. That says a lot, and it counts for a lot with me. How about for now, until we figure out something permanent, you move your stuff into the office next to Roger.
The office? Rob’s old office?
If that’s okay with you.
That would be… just fine.
If you wouldn’t mind sort of teaching the new girl your job, so hopefully we can phase you out of that and get you running on the web design project, at an appropriate pay upgrade, as soon as possible. How would that be?
Um, yeah. That would be… fine.
Oh. Right. MG. Yes. He's expecting you. Why don't you go ahead and partake a seat.
Sorry?
He will be with you shortly. Why don't you go ahead and sit down.
Um... where?
Oh. Right. Well, he'll be with you shortly, irregardlessly.
Morning, MG. Leaving already?
Might not be long. No, I'm going to have one more smoke before I talk to the boss.
Ah, sure. So you aren't so nervous when you go see him?
No, so I don't go in there and kill someone. I'm well beyond nervous. He better have a damn good explanation for the shit they're pulling around here. This is not - not - not how you treat people. Even employees. When I get in there--
Yes. I think you better go have that cigarette. There's a vein popping out on your forehead.
Alana! You were supposed to have this straightened out. Did MG see her?
I don't know. I don't mean to bring up her punctuality issues, but since it's before 9:20, MG probably isn't even here yet.
Well, this situation is a little bit delicate and I'd appreciate it if it were handled with some sensitivity. HR was supposed to keep her there doing orientation til the afternoon! Damn. Well, put her somewhere.
Nina, I don't know where I can put her. All the cubicles are already assigned.
Alana, I can't figure everything out! I'm still on my first cup, for godsake!
Um, the procedure was really supposed to be that she go to HR. So, I don't know. If she doesn't follow the procedure, then, I don't know.
Well, what about that empty office? What's-his-name's. Next to Wonder Boy.
Robert's?
Yes. That. Just stick her in there for now and, I don't know. Is there some paperwork or something she can fill out?
I could give her a copy of the employee handbook to read?
Perfect. Fine. Go. Right away! I don't want MG running into her before she talks to the boss. Oh, but first, would you mind topping this off real quick, and adding just a touch of skim from the fridge? And one and a half packets of Splenda. They're in the drawer, hidden under the packets of soy sauce and mustard. But hurry!
I know, Vin. It's like the seventh sign or something, right? What are you doing here so early? You look all settled in, like you've already been here a while.
Oh, honey, I always get in by eight o'clock. I download my podcast meditations and take a minute to clear my work chakra before everyone gets here and it gets all chaotic. Now, spill. Oooh, I know! You are just getting back from a hot date who happened to live right in this neighborhood and you left together early because he's rich and ambitious and had to get to his high-powered but socially conscious job.
Yeah, right. No, I have an appointment with the boss at 9:15.
Ohh. Does it have anything to do with the shiny blonde munchkin who's been circling your desk like a high-heeled hummingbird since 8:45?
Really? Shit, I knew it! I didn't really believe it, but I knew it!
Come on, MG, don't jump to conclusions. Maybe they just, hired you an assistant.
Vin.
Okay, ouch. I could actually feel that look.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Oh, hello, MG. Did we get everything all straightened out?
No! We didn't! I went up to see him yesterday, and his secretary wouldn't let me in!
She wouldn't?
No. She said I wasn't on his calendar, even though I called and talked to her the day before.
Oh, that sounds like Lucy. Between me and you, she once entered an entire month's worth of meetings for him on the wrong month. Then she realized they were wrong and deleted them all, and had no idea when they were supposed to be for. Anyway, how about this. If you would be a lifesaver and run and get me a venti half-caf caramel latte no whip, I will call up there and make sure it's arranged for tomorrow, first thing. I have kind of a, direct line to the man.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Your name is whom?
Um, MG.
MG. Hm, no, I don't have you down.
Well, I spoke to somebody yesterday, and arranged it. A fifteen minute meeting?
Whom did you speak with?
Um, I'm not sure.
Well, I'm the only one who answers his phone, and I log all his appointments here in his Outlook calendar, and it's not here. So, it couldn't have been me. Which means it couldn't have been anyone. Which means I don't know whom you made an appointment with, but it wasn't him.
But, I called yesterday morning, and I spoke with, um, someone, and I set up an appointment for eleven o'clock today.
Like I just explained, no, you didn't.
Well, then who did I talk to? Who did I set up an appointment with?
Like I said, I wouldn't know.
I just, I can't understand this. I'm sure I talked to someone who, actually, sounded like you, and arranged this.
If that had happened, it would be on the calendar. All of his appointments are always marked on his calendar, and there is nothing on his calendar for eleven o'clock today. Nothing at all.
Then, could I just go talk to him anyway?
No. He's, busy. He's in a meeting. You'll have to make an appointment and come back.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
An appointment? Why do you need an appointment?
I don't know. They just said I did. So, can you tell me, what's he like?
Well, MG, microbrews, barbequeing, fishing. He's into comic books, too.
What?
Yeah, he loves the Batman comics. There's like 50 different series that are all based on Batman now. I bet you didn't know that. There's Nightwing, Catwoman, of course, regular Batman, there's The Detective something something--
Roger, what are you talking about?
You asked me, what does he like.
Oh. No. I said what's he like? What is he like. Like, is he easy to talk to? I've been working here for four years and I've never actually met him.
Oh, yeah! He's the chillest dude in the world. No problem. Just don't bring up Crisis on Infinite Earths, and you'll be fine.
Hm. I'll try to keep that in mind.
Monday, April 11, 2005
EmmmmmGee! Hold on one sec. I'm balancing something. Don't move!
Um, okay.
Ta-da! Look! I set up all the post-it note pads like dominoes! Around the keyboard, over to the phone, and next to the mouse. Score! Finally! I've been trying to get this to work for, like, three days. They kept falling down. Jay is so busted.
Hm.
And the hard part is, if one falls down, then they, like, all fall down.
Kind of the nature of the thing, eh. Dominoes. Anyway, Roger, I have a question for you.
Shoot! Wait, let me guess! You want to know how I managed to line up all the post-it dominoes.
Um, no. I wanted to ask, you know your uncle?
Ha! Do I know my uncle? MG, you think I ask stupid questions. Now that is not the brightest question I have ever heard. That's like asking, do I know my mother! Or, do I know my aunt! But even more so, because my uncle totally works here.
Okay, okay. I know that. I mean, your uncle. The boss. I need to talk to him, apparently. But Nina's not here, and no one else seems to know where he is. Do you happen to know?
Oh, yeah. They took his sweet boat out this weekend and-- I mean, no. Aren't they in his office? I mean, isn't he in his office?
No.
Oh. Well, I don't know. Oh! Crash! Why'd you knock everything down?
Roger, I'm not even touching--
Psych! I'm just kidding. I kicked the desk.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Oh, MG, I am just on my way out the door.
Nina, I'm sorry, but I have a pretty serious concern. I need to know if...
If what?
If there's... anything I should know.
Well, darling, of course, there are all sorts of things--
Nina, I'm serious. I can't spend another weekend without knowing if...
Yes?
Well, if there's any reshuffling going on.
Reshuffling? Well, I'm sure I wouldn't--
Nina, you're the director of the department, and I can't get a straight answer from anyone, and you seem like the only person who would be able to tell me for sure if I am being replaced.
Replaced? Well, I'm sure I don't know where you would have gotten that idea!
The tech guy. He said someone was taking over my computer. He said he was going to run an NEP.
Oh. Well. You know how they do things around here. Between me and you. This is nothing that I had any say in, you know. I don't even know for sure what's going on. I mean, you hear rumors, there's talk about this and that, and from day to day, you never know for sure what's--
Nina.
Well, the best I can suggest is that you talk to my supervisor. Why don't you go on up and talk to him right now? I'll waive the three-day appointment rule in this case. No, wait, he should be on his way out just now, too. Why don't you go ahead and see him first thing Monday morning?
Am I even still supposed to be here Monday morning? Am I going to come in and find my computer wiped clean?
I'm sure that, well, either way, I'm sure he'll be happy to talk to you about everything on Monday. Anyway, MG, I'm off. Have a good weekend! Try to just relax, you know?
Sure.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Where was I, Leah? Here?
We were so totally supposed to have lunch! But me and Alana walked past your desk and you weren't there, so Alana was like, "She's probably outside smoking already and waiting for us," and I was like "Yeah, probably," and we got outside, but you weren't there! So I was like, "Should we wait?" and Alana was like, "She probably didn't want to come but just didn't want to tell us." Is that true? I was like, "No, way! Because she has to hear my news! She doesn't want to miss my news!" and Alana was like, "We better just go. We've already wasted ten minutes, so now we only have 50 minutes to go, come back, and get back to our seats." So, I was like, "Well, okay." So we went and I told her all about it. I can just tell you now, really quick. Should I just tell you now, really quick?
Mm hm. Sure.
Well, okay. That's the important thing. We don't even have to have lunch.
Okay.
So.... my boyfriend is leaving his wife this weekend!
Oh.
Isn't that amazing!
Um, sure.
He's tried before, but she's totally gotten into his head and confused him and made it harder for him, but this time, he's not taking any excuses, and he's leaving her for real! He told me, he was like, "Leah, this time it's for real. No more games." So, I'm just being really, really supportive right now, because it's all going to be worth it when he is a totally free man on Monday. Free of that thing. He told me, he said, "Leah, don't ever marry someone you're not in love with. And don't have kids with them." That's what he did. He was never in love with her. He thought he was, once, but now since he met me, he says he knows what true love is for the first time. And I do, too! Isn't it amazing?
Sure is.
Oh, don't worry, MG. I know it's hard for you to imagine now, from where you are, but someday you will find the same good fortune I have.
Hm. Yeah, that is hard to imagine.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Um, sorry, Alana, I don't know. We shouldn't be. I thought we just got the delivery.
Well, I don't see any water.
I know, I know. I don't know. I'll check on it.
Well, maybe if you'd stay on top of it instead of waiting until everything becomes a prob--
Oh my god! MG! Alana! I am so glad I found you both! I have news! We have to have lunch. Can we do lunch today?
Sure, Leah.
Guess so, Leah.
Perfect! We are like the three musketeers. That's what my boyfriend always says, he's like, "Leah, I don't know how you have so many friends. You are a friendly lady." And I'm like, "yeah, I'm just naturally popular. It's like people are drawn to me." And he's like, "yeah, people are totally drawn to you." So, we'll meet outside at 12:30 and we'll go out, and I'll tell you all about some big developments. I am so glad we all get along so well. Ciao for now!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
See what, chickadee? If you mean that beige wall over there, then yes. I see it and see it and see it all day long until it seeps into my brain and everything I look at turns into that same tea-stain beige, beige, beige.
Um, hm. It is very, um, beige. But, no. I mean the tech guy. Did you just see the computer tech guy?
I just saw the back of a balding head with a ponytail disappear around the beige, beige corner, if that's what you mean.
Yeah, that's him. But you didn't see him look at me?
No, just the back of his little head. But why wouldn't he look at you? That top is a teriffic color on you!
No, Vin, not like that. I looked up and he was just standing, like three cubicles over, kind of squinting at me. With his arms down. Like he was a gunslinger at high noon or something! When he saw me look up, he gave this slow kind of nod, then turned and walked away.
Random.
I know, right? What does it mean?
I don't know. Maybe there are too many conflict enhancers in your work space, so you're drawing a negative, fighty kind of energy toward you. You should get rid of anything sharp at your desk - scissors, paper cutters, tacks, and letter openers, and replace them with softer things, to attract gentler energy to you.
Huh. I'll, um, think about it, Vin. That would cut down on options if he tries to sneak up and stab me, though.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Very funny, Jay.
Sorry, I'm just kidding. I'm relieved to see you here. Did you ever find out what was going on with all that?
No. I even finally went and tried to talk to Nina on Thursday, but she rushed me out before I could figure anything out.
Wow.
Yeah. Because if I'm being fired, I should be the one to go and ask. I'm supposed to, like, guess whether or not I still have a job every day.
Heh.
That could be a new policy. Every day, you have to come in and ask if your services are still required. Or hand your boss a note, like, "Do I have a job? circle one: yes/no."
Heh, totally, MG. It could be 'guess if you still have a job' month.
Yeah, right? It's not too much stupider than Smart IT Week. Hm, Jay, remind me why I'm worried about being fired?
Because you'd miss Wing Day with me and Roger?
Hm.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Watch what, Roger?
I am playing the sweetest April Fool's joke on Jay! Duck down, let's watch!
What's the trick?
See that coffee cup on his desk, with the plastic wrap over the top?
Um, yeah?
It's full of water. And when he lifts it up--
What happens then, Roger?
Sorry, I can't stop laughing to talk! When he picks it up, it's going to spill everywhere!
Why would it spill?
Because! You fill it with water, then put plastic wrap on top! So he thinks it's just normal. And when he turns it upside down, blam!
Why would Jay, or anyone, turn over a full cup of water?
Because! Why don't you get it? You fill it with water, then put plastic wrap on top, then... hold on, wait.
Roger, are you supposed to flip the cup upside down, so it spills when he picks it up?
Okay, wait. Let's just watch. Maybe... maybe something funny will happen anyway.
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