Tuesday, January 31, 2006
To: "the Ladies!"
From: Joanne
Subject: New "initiative!!"
Ladies! Since the success of the "soap campaign" was so super, I came up with a new idea!
We're all signed up for our own "soap month's," you can see me if you need a reminder. (And don't worry, I'll be sure to send around reminders before your month comes, too.)
So, what's our next project? I'm calling it "project cushy tush!" Wouldn't it be great if instead of the scratchy office paper, we had cushiony soft toilet paper. So I propose that we all take turns bringing in packages of quilted TP! Reply to this to sign up for your assigned week. If there are any questions about exceptable brands eccetera, just give me a jingle!
Our ladies' room is going to be the nicest one in the city, soon! If it gets any comfier in there, they'll just have to pull us out!! Hahaha.
"happy tinkling!"
Joanne
pod 17-32
From: Joanne
Subject: New "initiative!!"
Ladies! Since the success of the "soap campaign" was so super, I came up with a new idea!
We're all signed up for our own "soap month's," you can see me if you need a reminder. (And don't worry, I'll be sure to send around reminders before your month comes, too.)
So, what's our next project? I'm calling it "project cushy tush!" Wouldn't it be great if instead of the scratchy office paper, we had cushiony soft toilet paper. So I propose that we all take turns bringing in packages of quilted TP! Reply to this to sign up for your assigned week. If there are any questions about exceptable brands eccetera, just give me a jingle!
Our ladies' room is going to be the nicest one in the city, soon! If it gets any comfier in there, they'll just have to pull us out!! Hahaha.
"happy tinkling!"
Joanne
pod 17-32
Monday, January 30, 2006
So, ladies, where is it going to be?
Joanie, I asked my boyfriend, I asked him, "Where do you want to go?" and he was like, "Leah, you know where I want to go. Where I always want to go when you drag me to midtown for lunch."
So, I was like, oh, god, not again, but he was like--
Wait, Leah, where's that?
You know, Hooters. He always wants to go to Hooters.
Hooters? Seriously, Leah? Do you let him?
Sometimes. If I'm in the mood for wings.
But, Leah, that's like, it's practically a strip club!
Oh, please. Strip clubs. Don't even mention strip clubs at lunch to him, then he wants to go for the buffet.
Leah! A strip club? At lunch? You don't let him, do you?
Yeah, Leah, doesn't he have a certain responsibility in the relationship to--
Oh, god, you guys. What do I care what he's looking at while he eats? And Hooters, those girls hardly have boobs anyway these days. It's like they don't even get the concept. Hello? Hooters?
Well, I think we can agree that we're not going to any strip clubs for our first Boyfriend Day.
Oh, my god! Yes. Totally no. That would set such a bad precedent.
Alright, you guys. Whatever. I'm easy. That's what my boyfriend always says. He's like, "Leah, you're easy." So, Hooters, then?
Joanie, I asked my boyfriend, I asked him, "Where do you want to go?" and he was like, "Leah, you know where I want to go. Where I always want to go when you drag me to midtown for lunch."
So, I was like, oh, god, not again, but he was like--
Wait, Leah, where's that?
You know, Hooters. He always wants to go to Hooters.
Hooters? Seriously, Leah? Do you let him?
Sometimes. If I'm in the mood for wings.
But, Leah, that's like, it's practically a strip club!
Oh, please. Strip clubs. Don't even mention strip clubs at lunch to him, then he wants to go for the buffet.
Leah! A strip club? At lunch? You don't let him, do you?
Yeah, Leah, doesn't he have a certain responsibility in the relationship to--
Oh, god, you guys. What do I care what he's looking at while he eats? And Hooters, those girls hardly have boobs anyway these days. It's like they don't even get the concept. Hello? Hooters?
Well, I think we can agree that we're not going to any strip clubs for our first Boyfriend Day.
Oh, my god! Yes. Totally no. That would set such a bad precedent.
Alright, you guys. Whatever. I'm easy. That's what my boyfriend always says. He's like, "Leah, you're easy." So, Hooters, then?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
MG, did you get my note?
Good morning, Alana. Doing well, thanks.
What? The note. Did you get my note? The post-it? On your chair?
Uh, no, I, oh. Yeah. Look at that. There it is.
MG! Why would you just sit down on my note?
I don't know. Why would you put a note on my seat?
Because of the way you choose to keep your surrounding space, that was the only clear surface in here.
Ok, well, here it is. "MG, see me." Got it. Done, and done.
What's that supposed to mean?
Uh, just that it says to see you, and look at this! We're talking right now. So I guess it's pretty much mission accomplished here. See you later?
I can't even deal with you right now.
Okey doke.
Good morning, Alana. Doing well, thanks.
What? The note. Did you get my note? The post-it? On your chair?
Uh, no, I, oh. Yeah. Look at that. There it is.
MG! Why would you just sit down on my note?
I don't know. Why would you put a note on my seat?
Because of the way you choose to keep your surrounding space, that was the only clear surface in here.
Ok, well, here it is. "MG, see me." Got it. Done, and done.
What's that supposed to mean?
Uh, just that it says to see you, and look at this! We're talking right now. So I guess it's pretty much mission accomplished here. See you later?
I can't even deal with you right now.
Okey doke.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
MG, you need to get rid of all that.
Rid of?
Yes. You need to clear everything out of here.
What am I supposed to do with it?
It's your job to figure that out.
My job?
Well, as the departmental Katrina Relief Action Plan coordinator, it was up to you to make sure that all those poor people got the donations we made.
What? I'm not a coordinator!
Yes, you are.
How can I be the coordinator if I don't know anything about it?
That's a good question. Another way to say that is, why don't you know anything about it, if you're the coordinator?
That's a completely different question. Alana, seriously, I don't know anything about this. I think it's horrible that we collected all this stuff and it never went anywhere. But I don't think it's my fault.
Well, MG, when something's really important, most people put aside their little "not-my-job, not-my-fault" attitude and all pitch in together to make happen what's really important. When it's something bigger than themselves. I thought this was a case where you'd step up and pitch in.
Pitch in together? Ok, so who am I working with on this?
Basically, we feel like it's a one-person job.
But -
MG, I really cannot believe that you don't care about the hurricane refugees.
Rid of?
Yes. You need to clear everything out of here.
What am I supposed to do with it?
It's your job to figure that out.
My job?
Well, as the departmental Katrina Relief Action Plan coordinator, it was up to you to make sure that all those poor people got the donations we made.
What? I'm not a coordinator!
Yes, you are.
How can I be the coordinator if I don't know anything about it?
That's a good question. Another way to say that is, why don't you know anything about it, if you're the coordinator?
That's a completely different question. Alana, seriously, I don't know anything about this. I think it's horrible that we collected all this stuff and it never went anywhere. But I don't think it's my fault.
Well, MG, when something's really important, most people put aside their little "not-my-job, not-my-fault" attitude and all pitch in together to make happen what's really important. When it's something bigger than themselves. I thought this was a case where you'd step up and pitch in.
Pitch in together? Ok, so who am I working with on this?
Basically, we feel like it's a one-person job.
But -
MG, I really cannot believe that you don't care about the hurricane refugees.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
MG! This is totally sexual harassment!
What is, Roger?
The soap! Is it true?
What?
I heard the ladies' room gets fancy scented handsoap!
Oh. Yeah. Joanie brought some in.
Well? Sexual harassment!
How do you figure, Roger?
We don't get any! The soap in the men's room is the pink stuff that doesn't even dissolve in water. And I bet it's not even spermicidal.
Spermicidal? Roger?
Yeah, hello, so it kills flu bacteria? Or, what's it called. Antibacterial. Whatever. Same difference, you know what I mean. It's not fair. It's like they're trying to get the guys to stay sick and smelly, and make the ladies all clean and good-smelling.
Roger, someone just brought in a fancy bottle of soap and stuck it on the sink. Anyone could do that. It's not some company-wide conspiracy. You could bring in your own bottle of Plumeria Passion or whatever.
Uh, right? And then what would I use at home, if I brought in my own soap? Seriously, MG, it is total sexual harassment.
What is, Roger?
The soap! Is it true?
What?
I heard the ladies' room gets fancy scented handsoap!
Oh. Yeah. Joanie brought some in.
Well? Sexual harassment!
How do you figure, Roger?
We don't get any! The soap in the men's room is the pink stuff that doesn't even dissolve in water. And I bet it's not even spermicidal.
Spermicidal? Roger?
Yeah, hello, so it kills flu bacteria? Or, what's it called. Antibacterial. Whatever. Same difference, you know what I mean. It's not fair. It's like they're trying to get the guys to stay sick and smelly, and make the ladies all clean and good-smelling.
Roger, someone just brought in a fancy bottle of soap and stuck it on the sink. Anyone could do that. It's not some company-wide conspiracy. You could bring in your own bottle of Plumeria Passion or whatever.
Uh, right? And then what would I use at home, if I brought in my own soap? Seriously, MG, it is total sexual harassment.
Monday, January 23, 2006
MG! It turns out, it was Joanie!
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's what this was all about? Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's what this was all about? Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
MG! It turns out, it was Joanie!
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's nice. Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's nice. Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Guilty as charged!
Oh, Joanie! I knew it was you! I said to myself, now who would do something like that in the bathroom, and then I just thought, you know, this has Joanie written all over it.
I just thought it would be something kind of, you know, new and different. I'm so glad it affected you!
Joanie, I was just delighted.
Super! That's all I hoped for.
You know dear, this makes me think, maybe this is the kind of thing we should maybe all take turns at leaving in there, I was thinking, maybe we could set up a rotating schedule?
Oh, great idea, Joanne! Then we could schedule who does it when! I'll tell the other girls!
Oh, Joanie! I knew it was you! I said to myself, now who would do something like that in the bathroom, and then I just thought, you know, this has Joanie written all over it.
I just thought it would be something kind of, you know, new and different. I'm so glad it affected you!
Joanie, I was just delighted.
Super! That's all I hoped for.
You know dear, this makes me think, maybe this is the kind of thing we should maybe all take turns at leaving in there, I was thinking, maybe we could set up a rotating schedule?
Oh, great idea, Joanne! Then we could schedule who does it when! I'll tell the other girls!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
MG! Have you been in the bathroom today?
Uh, hi, Joanne. Um, yes. I have.
Did you smell it?
Um...
Do you know who's responsible?
Uh, no.
Well, I think I'll make a little sign for whoever it was!
Ok, sure, Joanne.
Do you know if we still have any of that pretty paper that you can put in the printer that has the flowers pre printed on it? I think that would be most appropriate.
Hm. I don't really know.
Well, I'll figure something out. But when somebody does something like that, you feel like you just have to say something, you know?
Uh, hi, Joanne. Um, yes. I have.
Did you smell it?
Um...
Do you know who's responsible?
Uh, no.
Well, I think I'll make a little sign for whoever it was!
Ok, sure, Joanne.
Do you know if we still have any of that pretty paper that you can put in the printer that has the flowers pre printed on it? I think that would be most appropriate.
Hm. I don't really know.
Well, I'll figure something out. But when somebody does something like that, you feel like you just have to say something, you know?
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Oh, my god, Leah, that is such a great idea!
I know, right, Joanie? My boyfriend always says, he says, "Leah, you have the best ideas."
That's so sweet.
So, like, a lunch, right? I think a lunch would make the most sense.
It'll be so fun! It'll be like show and tell!
I know, right? Because we've all heard about each other's boyfriends for so long, now it'll totally be like, ta-da! Here they are! It'll be so awesome. I'll have to make sure he wears one of his nice shirts I got him for Christmas, and not one of the disgusting ones his mother got him. Gag.
So, it will be me and my boyfriend and you and your boyfriend, and Alana and her boyfriend, and, what about MG?
MG? You are like, totally kidding, right?
Oh! That's right! I forgot. Maybe I blocked it out! You said she might be...
Let's just say that, like, I don't think she needs to be a part of our first official Boyfriend Day.
I know, right, Joanie? My boyfriend always says, he says, "Leah, you have the best ideas."
That's so sweet.
So, like, a lunch, right? I think a lunch would make the most sense.
It'll be so fun! It'll be like show and tell!
I know, right? Because we've all heard about each other's boyfriends for so long, now it'll totally be like, ta-da! Here they are! It'll be so awesome. I'll have to make sure he wears one of his nice shirts I got him for Christmas, and not one of the disgusting ones his mother got him. Gag.
So, it will be me and my boyfriend and you and your boyfriend, and Alana and her boyfriend, and, what about MG?
MG? You are like, totally kidding, right?
Oh! That's right! I forgot. Maybe I blocked it out! You said she might be...
Let's just say that, like, I don't think she needs to be a part of our first official Boyfriend Day.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Jay, have you seen Alana?
No, I think she took off today for MLK.
Took off? I thought we had to come in?
It's an optional day.
What's an 'optional' day?
You know, you can come in, or not.
So, it's like unpaid leave if you don't come in?
No, I think it's paid vacation, if you want it.
If you want it? Then why is everybody here? I could have sworn we had to work last year.
Ha, most of us did, MG.
Shut up, Jay. That's why I made sure I was in today. Now it's a holiday?
Yep. Maybe you inspired them last year by your refusal to come in. You're kind of like the Rosa Parks of the optional day.
Hm, I think the only point I'm making through my actions is that I don't pay enough attention to inter-office emails. Was there even an email about this? I think I would have remembered it.
No, no email. They mentioned it at that meeting last week.
Meeting?
On Wednesday? I don't think you were there.
How - I didn't know there was a meeting.
That, there was an email about.
No, I think she took off today for MLK.
Took off? I thought we had to come in?
It's an optional day.
What's an 'optional' day?
You know, you can come in, or not.
So, it's like unpaid leave if you don't come in?
No, I think it's paid vacation, if you want it.
If you want it? Then why is everybody here? I could have sworn we had to work last year.
Ha, most of us did, MG.
Shut up, Jay. That's why I made sure I was in today. Now it's a holiday?
Yep. Maybe you inspired them last year by your refusal to come in. You're kind of like the Rosa Parks of the optional day.
Hm, I think the only point I'm making through my actions is that I don't pay enough attention to inter-office emails. Was there even an email about this? I think I would have remembered it.
No, no email. They mentioned it at that meeting last week.
Meeting?
On Wednesday? I don't think you were there.
How - I didn't know there was a meeting.
That, there was an email about.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Hey, Alana.
Hello, MG.
Did you find that key?
What key?
To the supply room?
Find it?
Weren't you missing it?
MG, I don't lose my keys.
What? The other day, you were asking me if I'd seen it.
Seen what?
The key. The supply room key?
MG, there's a certain level of responsibility that goes along with being responsible for the supply room key. Which is why I'm the one who's responsible for it.
Oh. Okay, right. Because the cleaning lady left this on my desk with a post-it note that said 'bano' and I thought maybe this was the key you were looking for.
What? That? That's... I don't know what that is. But I'll take it. I'll take it and, and I'll turn it in to lost and found. Which, of course, is standard policy when you find something in the office that doesn't belong to you. Which you'd know, if you read the new edition of the employee handbook.
Employee handbook, Alana? Wow. I'm surprised you'd bring that up.
MG, you can really be a--
Easy, Alana. I do actually seem to recall a chapter in the employee handbook on 'creating a verbally positive and inclusive workplace environment.'
Hello, MG.
Did you find that key?
What key?
To the supply room?
Find it?
Weren't you missing it?
MG, I don't lose my keys.
What? The other day, you were asking me if I'd seen it.
Seen what?
The key. The supply room key?
MG, there's a certain level of responsibility that goes along with being responsible for the supply room key. Which is why I'm the one who's responsible for it.
Oh. Okay, right. Because the cleaning lady left this on my desk with a post-it note that said 'bano' and I thought maybe this was the key you were looking for.
What? That? That's... I don't know what that is. But I'll take it. I'll take it and, and I'll turn it in to lost and found. Which, of course, is standard policy when you find something in the office that doesn't belong to you. Which you'd know, if you read the new edition of the employee handbook.
Employee handbook, Alana? Wow. I'm surprised you'd bring that up.
MG, you can really be a--
Easy, Alana. I do actually seem to recall a chapter in the employee handbook on 'creating a verbally positive and inclusive workplace environment.'
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Jay! Did you see this?
See what, MG?
This congratulations note? This is the sickest thing I've seen in a long time. We won? We won?
Oh, the Katrina thing? Yeah. That's pretty screwed up.
Our department, which they didn't even bother to fill in the blank for, won the donation contest? Contest? That was a contest?
Yeah, it's weird. Maybe they thought they had to make it a contest to get people to bring stuff.
Do they even know?
Know what?
Jay! All that shit, those piles of trash bags of sweaters and broken blenders and worn out sweat pants. They're still in my office! Nothing got to anyone! Which is just as well, I guess, since it's all crap that nobody would need.
You're kidding, really?
Yeah. It's all sitting there.
I kept asking Leah who it was supposed to go to, and she said someone was coming to pick it up.
Then they shut down the building, and when I got back, it was all still here.
Huh. Maybe you could call someone?
Jay, I would. If I thought it would do anybody any good at all, I really would. But at this point, I feel like sending a bunch of closet-puke would just be insult to injury, you know?
Yeah, I... Closet puke? MG, you really have a special way with words.
See what, MG?
This congratulations note? This is the sickest thing I've seen in a long time. We won? We won?
Oh, the Katrina thing? Yeah. That's pretty screwed up.
Our department, which they didn't even bother to fill in the blank for, won the donation contest? Contest? That was a contest?
Yeah, it's weird. Maybe they thought they had to make it a contest to get people to bring stuff.
Do they even know?
Know what?
Jay! All that shit, those piles of trash bags of sweaters and broken blenders and worn out sweat pants. They're still in my office! Nothing got to anyone! Which is just as well, I guess, since it's all crap that nobody would need.
You're kidding, really?
Yeah. It's all sitting there.
I kept asking Leah who it was supposed to go to, and she said someone was coming to pick it up.
Then they shut down the building, and when I got back, it was all still here.
Huh. Maybe you could call someone?
Jay, I would. If I thought it would do anybody any good at all, I really would. But at this point, I feel like sending a bunch of closet-puke would just be insult to injury, you know?
Yeah, I... Closet puke? MG, you really have a special way with words.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Attention [departmental] employees:
We are pleased to announce that [your department] won the Katrina Relief Action Plan contest. In keeping with our core values, [your department] donated, by weight, the greatest mass of items to help those Americans in their time of need. You proved that truly, "united we stand" remains one of Winkyshock's core values.
Congratulations to everyone who helped our "brothers and sisters" in New Orleans "weather the storm."
We are pleased to announce that [your department] won the Katrina Relief Action Plan contest. In keeping with our core values, [your department] donated, by weight, the greatest mass of items to help those Americans in their time of need. You proved that truly, "united we stand" remains one of Winkyshock's core values.
Congratulations to everyone who helped our "brothers and sisters" in New Orleans "weather the storm."
Monday, January 09, 2006
MG, have you seen the key?
Good morning, Alana. Fine, thank you. What key?
The key. The supply room key.
Nope. I'm not allowed to use it, remember?
I know you're not. But that doesn't mean you couldn't have picked it up.
I think I might have seen some keys in the bathroom yesterday when I was leaving, actually.
What did they look like?
They looked like... keys. I don't know. Why don't you see if they're still there.
Well, I definitely wouldn't have left the supply room key in the bathroom. There's no way it was that.
Okay.
Where exactly in the bathroom did you see them, anyway?
Good morning, Alana. Fine, thank you. What key?
The key. The supply room key.
Nope. I'm not allowed to use it, remember?
I know you're not. But that doesn't mean you couldn't have picked it up.
I think I might have seen some keys in the bathroom yesterday when I was leaving, actually.
What did they look like?
They looked like... keys. I don't know. Why don't you see if they're still there.
Well, I definitely wouldn't have left the supply room key in the bathroom. There's no way it was that.
Okay.
Where exactly in the bathroom did you see them, anyway?
Friday, January 06, 2006
Jay, I meant to ask you.
Shoot, MG.
TY 06?
What about it?
You know what it means? What is it?
Technical year. 2006.
That's real? I thought Alana just made it up. What does it mean, though? What the hell is a 'technical year?'
It's the year that starts in January and goes through December.
Hm. As opposed to?
You know, the fiscal year, the insurance claims year, the awards eligibility year...
Jay, you are making these up.
Nope.
How do you know this stuff?
I don't know.
But the 'technical year,' that's basically the same as the, well, year year.
Yeah, basically.
So, why do we have to call it the technical year?
I don't know. I guess so we don't get it mixed up with all the other kinds of corporate years.
Or so dorks can feel important by using stupid made-up names for things that already have perfectly good names.
Heh. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, I have to get to the Recreational Targeting and Allowances meeting.
The what?
Ah, it's just about who gets to use which space in the kitchen pantry, I think.
I rest my case.
Shoot, MG.
TY 06?
What about it?
You know what it means? What is it?
Technical year. 2006.
That's real? I thought Alana just made it up. What does it mean, though? What the hell is a 'technical year?'
It's the year that starts in January and goes through December.
Hm. As opposed to?
You know, the fiscal year, the insurance claims year, the awards eligibility year...
Jay, you are making these up.
Nope.
How do you know this stuff?
I don't know.
But the 'technical year,' that's basically the same as the, well, year year.
Yeah, basically.
So, why do we have to call it the technical year?
I don't know. I guess so we don't get it mixed up with all the other kinds of corporate years.
Or so dorks can feel important by using stupid made-up names for things that already have perfectly good names.
Heh. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, I have to get to the Recreational Targeting and Allowances meeting.
The what?
Ah, it's just about who gets to use which space in the kitchen pantry, I think.
I rest my case.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Happy new year, MG!
Is it? Oh, sorry. Happy new year to you, too, Vin.
Oh, groucherella! Is 2006 pee-peeing on you already?
No, no. I'm fine. How was your new year's?
Oh, you know. Quiet. I did a dinner for a few friends, and did my new year's purification rituals.
Rituals?
You know. I stacked all my crystals together to re-energize them, cleansed the air - well, really, the apartment's energy field - with burnt sage, then did my soy-vinegar bath meditation.
Soy vinegar?
Yes. You wouldn't believe how it neutralizes toxins.
Guess I wouldn't.
Anyway, you? Did you purify your space?
Yeah. I guess.
Ooh, what are your processes? Did you use zen methods?
Well, sort of. I mean, I threw out the spoiled milk and some suspect leftover chinese. Is that... zen?
Oh, MG. It's not a bad a start. The buddhist monks say, new year, clean fridge, clean slate.
They do?
Well, they could. Start where you are, that's the main thing. For example, we could start with this desk.
Don't you start, too, Vin.
No pressure, my little packrat! Just, when you're ready for a little declutterization--
Okay, Vin. Thanks.
Is it? Oh, sorry. Happy new year to you, too, Vin.
Oh, groucherella! Is 2006 pee-peeing on you already?
No, no. I'm fine. How was your new year's?
Oh, you know. Quiet. I did a dinner for a few friends, and did my new year's purification rituals.
Rituals?
You know. I stacked all my crystals together to re-energize them, cleansed the air - well, really, the apartment's energy field - with burnt sage, then did my soy-vinegar bath meditation.
Soy vinegar?
Yes. You wouldn't believe how it neutralizes toxins.
Guess I wouldn't.
Anyway, you? Did you purify your space?
Yeah. I guess.
Ooh, what are your processes? Did you use zen methods?
Well, sort of. I mean, I threw out the spoiled milk and some suspect leftover chinese. Is that... zen?
Oh, MG. It's not a bad a start. The buddhist monks say, new year, clean fridge, clean slate.
They do?
Well, they could. Start where you are, that's the main thing. For example, we could start with this desk.
Don't you start, too, Vin.
No pressure, my little packrat! Just, when you're ready for a little declutterization--
Okay, Vin. Thanks.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Hey, MG. Happy new year!
Hi. Jay. To you, too. How was yours?
Good. You know, out with a bunch of friends. Same for you?
Yeah, just, ah, not exactly.
No? What did you do?
Well, I was supposed to go to this party, but it sort of fell through at the last minute.
No kidding.
Yeah, turned out on closer inspection that it was going to be a really couply sort of thing, and the guy who I was going to go with had sort of neglected to tell me that.
Oh. So?
So, it would have been like eight couples and this guy I'm not into. Which makes us sort of an automatic couple. And he knows I'm not into him, so it was kind of a sneaky move. So I bowed out, and I was planning to go to this other thing I'd heard about.
That's alright, then.
But I only had a number for one person who was going to that, and I was trying to get a hold of her to find out where it was, but her cell didn't even ring, just kept going straight to voice mail.
Bummer.
Yeah, she always lets the battery die down. So, I called these other friends to see if it was too late to tag along with them, but by then they were heading out for dinner, and it was one of those expensive prix-fixe deals, and it was too late to change the reservation, even if I did feel like paying 75 bucks for a meal at a place I go to all the time for mac and cheese anyway.
Yeah, that doesn't sound like a great plan. Did you just hit a local bar?
Nah, seemed kind of desperate. I figured I'd look like I was trying to get hit on by drunk dudes if I went alone.
Drunk dudes will always think you want to get hit on.
Yeah, and on new year's they'd actually have an excuse to try to slobber on you. So.
So?
So, I opened up a bottle of white wine I've had forever, and finished up my last pack of cigarettes. Watched Dick Clark until that got too depressing, thought about some resolutions and went to bed, happy knowing that at least I still had the next night to go out, since Monday was a holiday.
Oh. MG, we didn't have Monday off.
Yeah. I heard about that. So much for the whole 'being more responsible about work' resolution.
Wow. You didn't waste any time with that one.
Nope. If you're going to break a resolution, I guess you might as well get right in there and throttle it to death.
Hm.
Didn't really stand a chance anyway, now that I think about it.
Hi. Jay. To you, too. How was yours?
Good. You know, out with a bunch of friends. Same for you?
Yeah, just, ah, not exactly.
No? What did you do?
Well, I was supposed to go to this party, but it sort of fell through at the last minute.
No kidding.
Yeah, turned out on closer inspection that it was going to be a really couply sort of thing, and the guy who I was going to go with had sort of neglected to tell me that.
Oh. So?
So, it would have been like eight couples and this guy I'm not into. Which makes us sort of an automatic couple. And he knows I'm not into him, so it was kind of a sneaky move. So I bowed out, and I was planning to go to this other thing I'd heard about.
That's alright, then.
But I only had a number for one person who was going to that, and I was trying to get a hold of her to find out where it was, but her cell didn't even ring, just kept going straight to voice mail.
Bummer.
Yeah, she always lets the battery die down. So, I called these other friends to see if it was too late to tag along with them, but by then they were heading out for dinner, and it was one of those expensive prix-fixe deals, and it was too late to change the reservation, even if I did feel like paying 75 bucks for a meal at a place I go to all the time for mac and cheese anyway.
Yeah, that doesn't sound like a great plan. Did you just hit a local bar?
Nah, seemed kind of desperate. I figured I'd look like I was trying to get hit on by drunk dudes if I went alone.
Drunk dudes will always think you want to get hit on.
Yeah, and on new year's they'd actually have an excuse to try to slobber on you. So.
So?
So, I opened up a bottle of white wine I've had forever, and finished up my last pack of cigarettes. Watched Dick Clark until that got too depressing, thought about some resolutions and went to bed, happy knowing that at least I still had the next night to go out, since Monday was a holiday.
Oh. MG, we didn't have Monday off.
Yeah. I heard about that. So much for the whole 'being more responsible about work' resolution.
Wow. You didn't waste any time with that one.
Nope. If you're going to break a resolution, I guess you might as well get right in there and throttle it to death.
Hm.
Didn't really stand a chance anyway, now that I think about it.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
MG, can you--
Happy new year, Alana.
Oh. Happy new year, MG. I forgot, I didn't have a chance to say happy new year to you yesterday. When I said it to everybody else who works here, and who all managed to come to work.
What? Yesterday was the second.
Yes. Yes it was, MG. The S.O.B. for TY '06.
Uh, oh?
Oh, MG. Start of Business.
Oh. Right. Of the, um, TY.
MG! Technical Year?
Oh. Sure. But today was the first day back, right?
MG, I cannot deal with this from you right now.
Happy new year, Alana.
Oh. Happy new year, MG. I forgot, I didn't have a chance to say happy new year to you yesterday. When I said it to everybody else who works here, and who all managed to come to work.
What? Yesterday was the second.
Yes. Yes it was, MG. The S.O.B. for TY '06.
Uh, oh?
Oh, MG. Start of Business.
Oh. Right. Of the, um, TY.
MG! Technical Year?
Oh. Sure. But today was the first day back, right?
MG, I cannot deal with this from you right now.
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