Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Hey, look over there!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Oh my god, you guys want to hear something totally strange?
What happened, Leah?
Okay, well you know how my boyfriend was like, did you get my flowers, and I was like, no, and he was like, oh my god they got lost, and then I was like, oh! I found them, they went to the wrong person?
Oh, "went" to the wrong person. That's a nice way to say somebody actually took your flowers. I still can't believe that.
Alana, I don't think MG did it on purpose. She said they were just on her desk when she got there. Anyway, so I told my boyfriend that I found his flowers and he was like, oh, really? Great! He sounded really, really surprised! I guess that's because if you send flowers and they, like, disappear, you don't expect that they're going to turn up.
Yeah.
So, anyway, I was like, I totally found it, but I wasn't even sure what kind it was! And so I asked him, I said, "So, what kind of flower do you call that?" And he was like, uh, roses? And then I was like, the flowers must have gotten really mixed up, because I don't know what this is, but it's not a rose! And he was like, uh, it's not?
Oh, you know men. They can't tell the difference between flowers. It doesn't mean anything. I mean, it's not like he would just lie about sending you flowers, right?
Right! Of course not.
What happened, Leah?
Okay, well you know how my boyfriend was like, did you get my flowers, and I was like, no, and he was like, oh my god they got lost, and then I was like, oh! I found them, they went to the wrong person?
Oh, "went" to the wrong person. That's a nice way to say somebody actually took your flowers. I still can't believe that.
Alana, I don't think MG did it on purpose. She said they were just on her desk when she got there. Anyway, so I told my boyfriend that I found his flowers and he was like, oh, really? Great! He sounded really, really surprised! I guess that's because if you send flowers and they, like, disappear, you don't expect that they're going to turn up.
Yeah.
So, anyway, I was like, I totally found it, but I wasn't even sure what kind it was! And so I asked him, I said, "So, what kind of flower do you call that?" And he was like, uh, roses? And then I was like, the flowers must have gotten really mixed up, because I don't know what this is, but it's not a rose! And he was like, uh, it's not?
Oh, you know men. They can't tell the difference between flowers. It doesn't mean anything. I mean, it's not like he would just lie about sending you flowers, right?
Right! Of course not.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Hey, you okay, MG? You look bummed out. I mean, more than usual.
Hi, Jay. Yeah. I just...
Just what?
Something just doesn't add up.
What's that?
Leah's boyfriend is always sending her crap at the office, right?
Yeah. He used to. I haven't seen much lately, but yeah.
And it's always stuff that you can't miss, right? Like that huge red teddy bear, and the balloon bouquet, and that damned frog that sang every time someone walked past?
Yeah. True, hard to miss.
And then she always reads the gross, mushy card out loud to everyone who gets within earshot for three days, right?
That's for sure.
So, how come on Valentine's day, he suddenly sends her something that's actually tasteful, with no card?
Hm. Good point. Maybe he changed?
Uh, Jay?
Yeah, yeah. You're right. Huh. That is strange. What do you think it means?
I don't know. But I do know that someone who doesn't even know what an orchid is shouldn't be getting them for Valentine's day.
Hi, Jay. Yeah. I just...
Just what?
Something just doesn't add up.
What's that?
Leah's boyfriend is always sending her crap at the office, right?
Yeah. He used to. I haven't seen much lately, but yeah.
And it's always stuff that you can't miss, right? Like that huge red teddy bear, and the balloon bouquet, and that damned frog that sang every time someone walked past?
Yeah. True, hard to miss.
And then she always reads the gross, mushy card out loud to everyone who gets within earshot for three days, right?
That's for sure.
So, how come on Valentine's day, he suddenly sends her something that's actually tasteful, with no card?
Hm. Good point. Maybe he changed?
Uh, Jay?
Yeah, yeah. You're right. Huh. That is strange. What do you think it means?
I don't know. But I do know that someone who doesn't even know what an orchid is shouldn't be getting them for Valentine's day.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Hey, MG!
Oh, hi, Roger.
You know what your office could really use?
An electric fence across the door.
No! I was thinking.... hey, that would be awesome, though! It would be like, zap! Zap! Zap! When people tried to come in. Zap!
Heh. Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
Zap! Zap! Hey, you're not all hummy anymore.
No. I'm not. Roger, did you want something?
Zap! Zip zap! Hm, I think I did, but I forgot what. Zap! Zzzzzap!
Oh, hi, Roger.
You know what your office could really use?
An electric fence across the door.
No! I was thinking.... hey, that would be awesome, though! It would be like, zap! Zap! Zap! When people tried to come in. Zap!
Heh. Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
Zap! Zap! Hey, you're not all hummy anymore.
No. I'm not. Roger, did you want something?
Zap! Zip zap! Hm, I think I did, but I forgot what. Zap! Zzzzzap!
MG, I heard you suddenly got some flowers and you don't know who they're from?
Oh. Hi, Leah. Uh, kind of.
Oh my god, I totally know what happened.
Yeah?
Oh my god! Yes! This totally makes sense now. Last night, when I was out with my girls, my boyfriend sent me a text message, and he was like "Hey, Valentine, did you get the flowers?"
And I was like, Oh my god! because I didn't get any flowers, and I totally was freaking out because I thought he forgot. And so I texted him back, like, "Oh my god, I didn't get your flowers, I thought you forgot!" And he texted back, "That is SO strange because I totally sent you flowers at the office." Then I was like, oh my god, what is going on here? Flowers don't just disappear! And so we were talking about it, the girls and me, and we were like, they must have gone someplace else by accident! And then Alana was like, 'Oh, maybe that's why MG got flowers.' And we were all like, yeah, that would totally make sense.
Huh. Did, did he say what kind of flowers he sent?
No, he just said he sent flowers and he couldn't believe they didn't get here. He sounded totally surprised that they never got here. I am so relieved we figured this all out. So you don't mind if I just take my flower. What is that, anyway?
It's an orchid.
Oh. Whatever. It'll look nice on my desk. And it will remind me of my boyfriend the whole time.
Huh. Hold on, Leah, why was your boyfriend texting you on Valentine's day? Didn't you guys want to go out or anything?
Oh, he had to spend it with his wife. Ex-wife. Wife. Whatever.
Oh. Hi, Leah. Uh, kind of.
Oh my god, I totally know what happened.
Yeah?
Oh my god! Yes! This totally makes sense now. Last night, when I was out with my girls, my boyfriend sent me a text message, and he was like "Hey, Valentine, did you get the flowers?"
And I was like, Oh my god! because I didn't get any flowers, and I totally was freaking out because I thought he forgot. And so I texted him back, like, "Oh my god, I didn't get your flowers, I thought you forgot!" And he texted back, "That is SO strange because I totally sent you flowers at the office." Then I was like, oh my god, what is going on here? Flowers don't just disappear! And so we were talking about it, the girls and me, and we were like, they must have gone someplace else by accident! And then Alana was like, 'Oh, maybe that's why MG got flowers.' And we were all like, yeah, that would totally make sense.
Huh. Did, did he say what kind of flowers he sent?
No, he just said he sent flowers and he couldn't believe they didn't get here. He sounded totally surprised that they never got here. I am so relieved we figured this all out. So you don't mind if I just take my flower. What is that, anyway?
It's an orchid.
Oh. Whatever. It'll look nice on my desk. And it will remind me of my boyfriend the whole time.
Huh. Hold on, Leah, why was your boyfriend texting you on Valentine's day? Didn't you guys want to go out or anything?
Oh, he had to spend it with his wife. Ex-wife. Wife. Whatever.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Oh, wait, MG, I know that one!
That one, what, Roger?
That song! What is it? Wait, don't tell me!
What song?
The song you're humming!
I'm not humming a song.
Yes you are! You've been humming all day!
I have not. I don't hum.
Yes you are! You do! You were!
Roger, I don't. Hm. Was I? I might have been!
What is it? Mmmm mmm mmm MMMmmm...
I don't think I was humming that. If I was humming at all.
No, I know it. It's like mmm mmm MMM mmm MMMM mmm!
I don't know. I don't really think I was humming.
Well, what's that supposed to be, then?
Oh, this? Oh! I didn't even realize I was doing that. Just doodling, I guess.
Are you okay, MG? You seem all, kind of, gooey.
I'm good, Roger. Really good, actually.
Huh. Weird.
That one, what, Roger?
That song! What is it? Wait, don't tell me!
What song?
The song you're humming!
I'm not humming a song.
Yes you are! You've been humming all day!
I have not. I don't hum.
Yes you are! You do! You were!
Roger, I don't. Hm. Was I? I might have been!
What is it? Mmmm mmm mmm MMMmmm...
I don't think I was humming that. If I was humming at all.
No, I know it. It's like mmm mmm MMM mmm MMMM mmm!
I don't know. I don't really think I was humming.
Well, what's that supposed to be, then?
Oh, this? Oh! I didn't even realize I was doing that. Just doodling, I guess.
Are you okay, MG? You seem all, kind of, gooey.
I'm good, Roger. Really good, actually.
Huh. Weird.
Vinnie, I'm sorry I was such a grouch yesterday.
That's okay, my little valentine. I know how it is. Cold wet feet, cold wet heart.
But then you were so sweet! You didn't have to do that!
Do what?
The little orchid! I love it! You shouldn't have, though.
Shouldn't have? I didn't. What orchid?
That... wasn't you?
Oh my god! Someone sent you a Valentine's day orchid? What kind? What class!
Come on, Vin, I know it was you. The delicate little single living kind in a little pot. As you know.
Sweetie, I think you're swell. But if I were going to spend that much on you, I'd take us both out to lunch. Or for facials. We both do have a little bit of a flakiness issue. You a teensy tiny bit moreso, because I am religious with the Khiels.
Wait, really? It wasn't you? This has gay man written all over it. In the best possible way, but the only other person who would do something like this is, like, my mom. And I just saw her this weekend. She gave me a mini heart-shaped box of chocolates and a disappointed sigh. I don't think she would send a fancy flower.
Well, well, well! Then I'd say it looks like somebody has a secret admirer!
No, I, no. Couldn't be. Who would it be?
I don't know! That's why it's a secret admirer! Who do you think it is?
I, nah. No idea. Maybe... no. It must be a departmental thing. Maybe all the women got them.
Hm, for your excellent job performance.
Huh. Yeah, you're right. But, who could it be, then? This is weird.
That's okay, my little valentine. I know how it is. Cold wet feet, cold wet heart.
But then you were so sweet! You didn't have to do that!
Do what?
The little orchid! I love it! You shouldn't have, though.
Shouldn't have? I didn't. What orchid?
That... wasn't you?
Oh my god! Someone sent you a Valentine's day orchid? What kind? What class!
Come on, Vin, I know it was you. The delicate little single living kind in a little pot. As you know.
Sweetie, I think you're swell. But if I were going to spend that much on you, I'd take us both out to lunch. Or for facials. We both do have a little bit of a flakiness issue. You a teensy tiny bit moreso, because I am religious with the Khiels.
Wait, really? It wasn't you? This has gay man written all over it. In the best possible way, but the only other person who would do something like this is, like, my mom. And I just saw her this weekend. She gave me a mini heart-shaped box of chocolates and a disappointed sigh. I don't think she would send a fancy flower.
Well, well, well! Then I'd say it looks like somebody has a secret admirer!
No, I, no. Couldn't be. Who would it be?
I don't know! That's why it's a secret admirer! Who do you think it is?
I, nah. No idea. Maybe... no. It must be a departmental thing. Maybe all the women got them.
Hm, for your excellent job performance.
Huh. Yeah, you're right. But, who could it be, then? This is weird.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Snowy good morning to you, from one snowy snow princess to another!
Ugh, Vin.
Snow princesses don't say ugh, snow princess. What part of this wondrous winter wonderland are you not loving?
Are you kidding? Start with my shoes. They're soaked and ruined.
Shoes? You don't wear shoes into your blizzard kingdom! You wear snow princess boots.
Knock it off, Vin. I spent the weekend at my parents place and I didn't realized I'd be coming back this morning into this, uh, wondrous winter-- what was it?
Wonderland!
Yeah. Not so wonderful for suede pumps. I got them in a misguided effort to look more professional, and now they're soaked through and my feet are probably rotting and frostbitten at the same time and I'm going to wear ugly, warm waterproof shoes every day until May and I don't care if Leah thinks I'm a dyke.
Whoa, easy, ice-a-rella! Those shoes are history, but in the future, you know there's this magical spray you can use to waterproof your shoes, and bags, and gloves, and everything! It's amazing.
That's the worst part. I bought a can of it when I got the shoes, but I never got around to spraying them.
Well, that's true. They don't spray themselves, do they?
Nope. And this coffee I spilled on myself isn't going to remove itself, either.
Coffee, too? Quite a morning for you!
That's my point.
Well, do you want to go out at lunch and make snowballs in the park?
No.
Ugh, Vin.
Snow princesses don't say ugh, snow princess. What part of this wondrous winter wonderland are you not loving?
Are you kidding? Start with my shoes. They're soaked and ruined.
Shoes? You don't wear shoes into your blizzard kingdom! You wear snow princess boots.
Knock it off, Vin. I spent the weekend at my parents place and I didn't realized I'd be coming back this morning into this, uh, wondrous winter-- what was it?
Wonderland!
Yeah. Not so wonderful for suede pumps. I got them in a misguided effort to look more professional, and now they're soaked through and my feet are probably rotting and frostbitten at the same time and I'm going to wear ugly, warm waterproof shoes every day until May and I don't care if Leah thinks I'm a dyke.
Whoa, easy, ice-a-rella! Those shoes are history, but in the future, you know there's this magical spray you can use to waterproof your shoes, and bags, and gloves, and everything! It's amazing.
That's the worst part. I bought a can of it when I got the shoes, but I never got around to spraying them.
Well, that's true. They don't spray themselves, do they?
Nope. And this coffee I spilled on myself isn't going to remove itself, either.
Coffee, too? Quite a morning for you!
That's my point.
Well, do you want to go out at lunch and make snowballs in the park?
No.
Friday, February 03, 2006
MG, I need to get to my Katrina stuff.
What's that, Joanie?
I know, I know, it's really bad, but I donated this really cute top? And I have a date with my fiance tonight - isn't it cute how he still asks me out on 'dates,' even though we're engaged? And I was thinking the perfect top would be one of the ones I donated.
Um.
At the time, I was like, 'Maybe a little black beaded number would be just the thing to cheer up a hurricane refugee!' But now it's like a hundred years later and a lot of people still don't have houses? So they're probably not really going out to clubs and bars and having dates, either. So I was thinking I'd just take my top back. Do you know which bag was mine?
No. That's the pile, though. Dig on in.
Thanks, MG. By the way, Alana said you were totally supposed to be responsible for distributing all that stuff. When's it going to go to the people who really need it?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Oh! That reminds me. Do you think it would be bad if I took back my velvet pants, too?
What's that, Joanie?
I know, I know, it's really bad, but I donated this really cute top? And I have a date with my fiance tonight - isn't it cute how he still asks me out on 'dates,' even though we're engaged? And I was thinking the perfect top would be one of the ones I donated.
Um.
At the time, I was like, 'Maybe a little black beaded number would be just the thing to cheer up a hurricane refugee!' But now it's like a hundred years later and a lot of people still don't have houses? So they're probably not really going out to clubs and bars and having dates, either. So I was thinking I'd just take my top back. Do you know which bag was mine?
No. That's the pile, though. Dig on in.
Thanks, MG. By the way, Alana said you were totally supposed to be responsible for distributing all that stuff. When's it going to go to the people who really need it?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Oh! That reminds me. Do you think it would be bad if I took back my velvet pants, too?
Thursday, February 02, 2006
MG! This is awesome!
What is, Roger?
Joanne just gave me a whole carton of toilet paper! Want some?
No?
Okay. Your loss.
Wait, what? Why did she do that?
I don't know. She was carrying the box around and, like, whistling, and said out with the old, in with the new!
Hm.
She asked if I wanted it. She said she was donating the old toilet paper to the guys, because dudes have tough tushes, or something.
What? Joanne said to you, "Dudes have tough tushes?"
I don't know. Something like that. But I was so psyched to get a whole box of TP, I was just like, "Yes! Score!"
Huh. Are you going to take it home to use it, or what?
Are you kidding? All this? I'm going to wallpaper my office with it! You wanna help?
No.
What is, Roger?
Joanne just gave me a whole carton of toilet paper! Want some?
No?
Okay. Your loss.
Wait, what? Why did she do that?
I don't know. She was carrying the box around and, like, whistling, and said out with the old, in with the new!
Hm.
She asked if I wanted it. She said she was donating the old toilet paper to the guys, because dudes have tough tushes, or something.
What? Joanne said to you, "Dudes have tough tushes?"
I don't know. Something like that. But I was so psyched to get a whole box of TP, I was just like, "Yes! Score!"
Huh. Are you going to take it home to use it, or what?
Are you kidding? All this? I'm going to wallpaper my office with it! You wanna help?
No.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Hey, Jay?
Yeah, MG?
Would you say there's anything different about me?
Um...
Don't worry. This isn't one of those trick girl questions.
Well...
Okay, it sort of is. The question is, would you say that my halo shines bright?
What?
My halo shines bright. Would you say that I have a halo, and it's shining bright?
Uh, everything okay, MG?
Yeah. Everything's great. I just got trapped on the phone for 20 minutes by a salesman who somehow got the idea that something about my position here made me an ideal person to pitch his stuff to. He was like one of those toy dinosaurs that runs into a wall and keeps trying to walk forward until the batteries die down.
Yeah?
Yeah! I kept saying, "Look, I don't really have any control over those decisions, I'm not really in a position to help you, that's not my department..." finally I said I'd give him the number of someone who might actually have some relevance. And I'm not sure if he was being sarcastic or clueless, that's when he said, "You're a real angel. Your halo shines bright."
That's just weird.
Yeah. Not to mention grammatically bizarre. Definitely the first time I've heard that one, though, even if he was being sarcastic.
Yeah, MG?
Would you say there's anything different about me?
Um...
Don't worry. This isn't one of those trick girl questions.
Well...
Okay, it sort of is. The question is, would you say that my halo shines bright?
What?
My halo shines bright. Would you say that I have a halo, and it's shining bright?
Uh, everything okay, MG?
Yeah. Everything's great. I just got trapped on the phone for 20 minutes by a salesman who somehow got the idea that something about my position here made me an ideal person to pitch his stuff to. He was like one of those toy dinosaurs that runs into a wall and keeps trying to walk forward until the batteries die down.
Yeah?
Yeah! I kept saying, "Look, I don't really have any control over those decisions, I'm not really in a position to help you, that's not my department..." finally I said I'd give him the number of someone who might actually have some relevance. And I'm not sure if he was being sarcastic or clueless, that's when he said, "You're a real angel. Your halo shines bright."
That's just weird.
Yeah. Not to mention grammatically bizarre. Definitely the first time I've heard that one, though, even if he was being sarcastic.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
To: "the Ladies!"
From: Joanne
Subject: New "initiative!!"
Ladies! Since the success of the "soap campaign" was so super, I came up with a new idea!
We're all signed up for our own "soap month's," you can see me if you need a reminder. (And don't worry, I'll be sure to send around reminders before your month comes, too.)
So, what's our next project? I'm calling it "project cushy tush!" Wouldn't it be great if instead of the scratchy office paper, we had cushiony soft toilet paper. So I propose that we all take turns bringing in packages of quilted TP! Reply to this to sign up for your assigned week. If there are any questions about exceptable brands eccetera, just give me a jingle!
Our ladies' room is going to be the nicest one in the city, soon! If it gets any comfier in there, they'll just have to pull us out!! Hahaha.
"happy tinkling!"
Joanne
pod 17-32
From: Joanne
Subject: New "initiative!!"
Ladies! Since the success of the "soap campaign" was so super, I came up with a new idea!
We're all signed up for our own "soap month's," you can see me if you need a reminder. (And don't worry, I'll be sure to send around reminders before your month comes, too.)
So, what's our next project? I'm calling it "project cushy tush!" Wouldn't it be great if instead of the scratchy office paper, we had cushiony soft toilet paper. So I propose that we all take turns bringing in packages of quilted TP! Reply to this to sign up for your assigned week. If there are any questions about exceptable brands eccetera, just give me a jingle!
Our ladies' room is going to be the nicest one in the city, soon! If it gets any comfier in there, they'll just have to pull us out!! Hahaha.
"happy tinkling!"
Joanne
pod 17-32
Monday, January 30, 2006
So, ladies, where is it going to be?
Joanie, I asked my boyfriend, I asked him, "Where do you want to go?" and he was like, "Leah, you know where I want to go. Where I always want to go when you drag me to midtown for lunch."
So, I was like, oh, god, not again, but he was like--
Wait, Leah, where's that?
You know, Hooters. He always wants to go to Hooters.
Hooters? Seriously, Leah? Do you let him?
Sometimes. If I'm in the mood for wings.
But, Leah, that's like, it's practically a strip club!
Oh, please. Strip clubs. Don't even mention strip clubs at lunch to him, then he wants to go for the buffet.
Leah! A strip club? At lunch? You don't let him, do you?
Yeah, Leah, doesn't he have a certain responsibility in the relationship to--
Oh, god, you guys. What do I care what he's looking at while he eats? And Hooters, those girls hardly have boobs anyway these days. It's like they don't even get the concept. Hello? Hooters?
Well, I think we can agree that we're not going to any strip clubs for our first Boyfriend Day.
Oh, my god! Yes. Totally no. That would set such a bad precedent.
Alright, you guys. Whatever. I'm easy. That's what my boyfriend always says. He's like, "Leah, you're easy." So, Hooters, then?
Joanie, I asked my boyfriend, I asked him, "Where do you want to go?" and he was like, "Leah, you know where I want to go. Where I always want to go when you drag me to midtown for lunch."
So, I was like, oh, god, not again, but he was like--
Wait, Leah, where's that?
You know, Hooters. He always wants to go to Hooters.
Hooters? Seriously, Leah? Do you let him?
Sometimes. If I'm in the mood for wings.
But, Leah, that's like, it's practically a strip club!
Oh, please. Strip clubs. Don't even mention strip clubs at lunch to him, then he wants to go for the buffet.
Leah! A strip club? At lunch? You don't let him, do you?
Yeah, Leah, doesn't he have a certain responsibility in the relationship to--
Oh, god, you guys. What do I care what he's looking at while he eats? And Hooters, those girls hardly have boobs anyway these days. It's like they don't even get the concept. Hello? Hooters?
Well, I think we can agree that we're not going to any strip clubs for our first Boyfriend Day.
Oh, my god! Yes. Totally no. That would set such a bad precedent.
Alright, you guys. Whatever. I'm easy. That's what my boyfriend always says. He's like, "Leah, you're easy." So, Hooters, then?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
MG, did you get my note?
Good morning, Alana. Doing well, thanks.
What? The note. Did you get my note? The post-it? On your chair?
Uh, no, I, oh. Yeah. Look at that. There it is.
MG! Why would you just sit down on my note?
I don't know. Why would you put a note on my seat?
Because of the way you choose to keep your surrounding space, that was the only clear surface in here.
Ok, well, here it is. "MG, see me." Got it. Done, and done.
What's that supposed to mean?
Uh, just that it says to see you, and look at this! We're talking right now. So I guess it's pretty much mission accomplished here. See you later?
I can't even deal with you right now.
Okey doke.
Good morning, Alana. Doing well, thanks.
What? The note. Did you get my note? The post-it? On your chair?
Uh, no, I, oh. Yeah. Look at that. There it is.
MG! Why would you just sit down on my note?
I don't know. Why would you put a note on my seat?
Because of the way you choose to keep your surrounding space, that was the only clear surface in here.
Ok, well, here it is. "MG, see me." Got it. Done, and done.
What's that supposed to mean?
Uh, just that it says to see you, and look at this! We're talking right now. So I guess it's pretty much mission accomplished here. See you later?
I can't even deal with you right now.
Okey doke.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
MG, you need to get rid of all that.
Rid of?
Yes. You need to clear everything out of here.
What am I supposed to do with it?
It's your job to figure that out.
My job?
Well, as the departmental Katrina Relief Action Plan coordinator, it was up to you to make sure that all those poor people got the donations we made.
What? I'm not a coordinator!
Yes, you are.
How can I be the coordinator if I don't know anything about it?
That's a good question. Another way to say that is, why don't you know anything about it, if you're the coordinator?
That's a completely different question. Alana, seriously, I don't know anything about this. I think it's horrible that we collected all this stuff and it never went anywhere. But I don't think it's my fault.
Well, MG, when something's really important, most people put aside their little "not-my-job, not-my-fault" attitude and all pitch in together to make happen what's really important. When it's something bigger than themselves. I thought this was a case where you'd step up and pitch in.
Pitch in together? Ok, so who am I working with on this?
Basically, we feel like it's a one-person job.
But -
MG, I really cannot believe that you don't care about the hurricane refugees.
Rid of?
Yes. You need to clear everything out of here.
What am I supposed to do with it?
It's your job to figure that out.
My job?
Well, as the departmental Katrina Relief Action Plan coordinator, it was up to you to make sure that all those poor people got the donations we made.
What? I'm not a coordinator!
Yes, you are.
How can I be the coordinator if I don't know anything about it?
That's a good question. Another way to say that is, why don't you know anything about it, if you're the coordinator?
That's a completely different question. Alana, seriously, I don't know anything about this. I think it's horrible that we collected all this stuff and it never went anywhere. But I don't think it's my fault.
Well, MG, when something's really important, most people put aside their little "not-my-job, not-my-fault" attitude and all pitch in together to make happen what's really important. When it's something bigger than themselves. I thought this was a case where you'd step up and pitch in.
Pitch in together? Ok, so who am I working with on this?
Basically, we feel like it's a one-person job.
But -
MG, I really cannot believe that you don't care about the hurricane refugees.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
MG! This is totally sexual harassment!
What is, Roger?
The soap! Is it true?
What?
I heard the ladies' room gets fancy scented handsoap!
Oh. Yeah. Joanie brought some in.
Well? Sexual harassment!
How do you figure, Roger?
We don't get any! The soap in the men's room is the pink stuff that doesn't even dissolve in water. And I bet it's not even spermicidal.
Spermicidal? Roger?
Yeah, hello, so it kills flu bacteria? Or, what's it called. Antibacterial. Whatever. Same difference, you know what I mean. It's not fair. It's like they're trying to get the guys to stay sick and smelly, and make the ladies all clean and good-smelling.
Roger, someone just brought in a fancy bottle of soap and stuck it on the sink. Anyone could do that. It's not some company-wide conspiracy. You could bring in your own bottle of Plumeria Passion or whatever.
Uh, right? And then what would I use at home, if I brought in my own soap? Seriously, MG, it is total sexual harassment.
What is, Roger?
The soap! Is it true?
What?
I heard the ladies' room gets fancy scented handsoap!
Oh. Yeah. Joanie brought some in.
Well? Sexual harassment!
How do you figure, Roger?
We don't get any! The soap in the men's room is the pink stuff that doesn't even dissolve in water. And I bet it's not even spermicidal.
Spermicidal? Roger?
Yeah, hello, so it kills flu bacteria? Or, what's it called. Antibacterial. Whatever. Same difference, you know what I mean. It's not fair. It's like they're trying to get the guys to stay sick and smelly, and make the ladies all clean and good-smelling.
Roger, someone just brought in a fancy bottle of soap and stuck it on the sink. Anyone could do that. It's not some company-wide conspiracy. You could bring in your own bottle of Plumeria Passion or whatever.
Uh, right? And then what would I use at home, if I brought in my own soap? Seriously, MG, it is total sexual harassment.
Monday, January 23, 2006
MG! It turns out, it was Joanie!
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's what this was all about? Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's what this was all about? Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
MG! It turns out, it was Joanie!
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's nice. Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
What was?
In the bathroom!
Oh.
I just got back from there. Smell my hands!
Joanne, that's okay, I don't need to--
Here!
Ah! Oh. Okay. That's nice. Kind of, strawberry bubblegum?
Well, it's strawberry shortcake, but close enough. Joanie went and brought in bottles of scented hand soap that we all can use! Wasn't that sweet?
Oh. Yeah. That's nice.
Nice? It is so thoughtful. I thought, how can we keep this going? And then I thought, I know! A rotating "soap patrol!"
Soap patrol.
Yes! I knew you'd like the idea! So, what month do you want to be?
What month?
Yes! We're each picking a soap month. Where we're responsible for the ladies' room soap that month. We're good up to April so far, so how about if I put you down for May?
Um, I don't know if--
Perfect! May! And, what flavor do you want to be, MG?
What flavor?
Yes. I was thinking, I thought, we should all say what we're going to bring, so we don't end up with duplicates. You can think about it for a day or two and get back to me.
Oh. Right.
I mean, what if everyone brought Warm Vanilla Sugar and Spice? You see what I mean?
Uh, yeah. I'll think about it. This was for May, right?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Guilty as charged!
Oh, Joanie! I knew it was you! I said to myself, now who would do something like that in the bathroom, and then I just thought, you know, this has Joanie written all over it.
I just thought it would be something kind of, you know, new and different. I'm so glad it affected you!
Joanie, I was just delighted.
Super! That's all I hoped for.
You know dear, this makes me think, maybe this is the kind of thing we should maybe all take turns at leaving in there, I was thinking, maybe we could set up a rotating schedule?
Oh, great idea, Joanne! Then we could schedule who does it when! I'll tell the other girls!
Oh, Joanie! I knew it was you! I said to myself, now who would do something like that in the bathroom, and then I just thought, you know, this has Joanie written all over it.
I just thought it would be something kind of, you know, new and different. I'm so glad it affected you!
Joanie, I was just delighted.
Super! That's all I hoped for.
You know dear, this makes me think, maybe this is the kind of thing we should maybe all take turns at leaving in there, I was thinking, maybe we could set up a rotating schedule?
Oh, great idea, Joanne! Then we could schedule who does it when! I'll tell the other girls!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
MG! Have you been in the bathroom today?
Uh, hi, Joanne. Um, yes. I have.
Did you smell it?
Um...
Do you know who's responsible?
Uh, no.
Well, I think I'll make a little sign for whoever it was!
Ok, sure, Joanne.
Do you know if we still have any of that pretty paper that you can put in the printer that has the flowers pre printed on it? I think that would be most appropriate.
Hm. I don't really know.
Well, I'll figure something out. But when somebody does something like that, you feel like you just have to say something, you know?
Uh, hi, Joanne. Um, yes. I have.
Did you smell it?
Um...
Do you know who's responsible?
Uh, no.
Well, I think I'll make a little sign for whoever it was!
Ok, sure, Joanne.
Do you know if we still have any of that pretty paper that you can put in the printer that has the flowers pre printed on it? I think that would be most appropriate.
Hm. I don't really know.
Well, I'll figure something out. But when somebody does something like that, you feel like you just have to say something, you know?
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Oh, my god, Leah, that is such a great idea!
I know, right, Joanie? My boyfriend always says, he says, "Leah, you have the best ideas."
That's so sweet.
So, like, a lunch, right? I think a lunch would make the most sense.
It'll be so fun! It'll be like show and tell!
I know, right? Because we've all heard about each other's boyfriends for so long, now it'll totally be like, ta-da! Here they are! It'll be so awesome. I'll have to make sure he wears one of his nice shirts I got him for Christmas, and not one of the disgusting ones his mother got him. Gag.
So, it will be me and my boyfriend and you and your boyfriend, and Alana and her boyfriend, and, what about MG?
MG? You are like, totally kidding, right?
Oh! That's right! I forgot. Maybe I blocked it out! You said she might be...
Let's just say that, like, I don't think she needs to be a part of our first official Boyfriend Day.
I know, right, Joanie? My boyfriend always says, he says, "Leah, you have the best ideas."
That's so sweet.
So, like, a lunch, right? I think a lunch would make the most sense.
It'll be so fun! It'll be like show and tell!
I know, right? Because we've all heard about each other's boyfriends for so long, now it'll totally be like, ta-da! Here they are! It'll be so awesome. I'll have to make sure he wears one of his nice shirts I got him for Christmas, and not one of the disgusting ones his mother got him. Gag.
So, it will be me and my boyfriend and you and your boyfriend, and Alana and her boyfriend, and, what about MG?
MG? You are like, totally kidding, right?
Oh! That's right! I forgot. Maybe I blocked it out! You said she might be...
Let's just say that, like, I don't think she needs to be a part of our first official Boyfriend Day.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Jay, have you seen Alana?
No, I think she took off today for MLK.
Took off? I thought we had to come in?
It's an optional day.
What's an 'optional' day?
You know, you can come in, or not.
So, it's like unpaid leave if you don't come in?
No, I think it's paid vacation, if you want it.
If you want it? Then why is everybody here? I could have sworn we had to work last year.
Ha, most of us did, MG.
Shut up, Jay. That's why I made sure I was in today. Now it's a holiday?
Yep. Maybe you inspired them last year by your refusal to come in. You're kind of like the Rosa Parks of the optional day.
Hm, I think the only point I'm making through my actions is that I don't pay enough attention to inter-office emails. Was there even an email about this? I think I would have remembered it.
No, no email. They mentioned it at that meeting last week.
Meeting?
On Wednesday? I don't think you were there.
How - I didn't know there was a meeting.
That, there was an email about.
No, I think she took off today for MLK.
Took off? I thought we had to come in?
It's an optional day.
What's an 'optional' day?
You know, you can come in, or not.
So, it's like unpaid leave if you don't come in?
No, I think it's paid vacation, if you want it.
If you want it? Then why is everybody here? I could have sworn we had to work last year.
Ha, most of us did, MG.
Shut up, Jay. That's why I made sure I was in today. Now it's a holiday?
Yep. Maybe you inspired them last year by your refusal to come in. You're kind of like the Rosa Parks of the optional day.
Hm, I think the only point I'm making through my actions is that I don't pay enough attention to inter-office emails. Was there even an email about this? I think I would have remembered it.
No, no email. They mentioned it at that meeting last week.
Meeting?
On Wednesday? I don't think you were there.
How - I didn't know there was a meeting.
That, there was an email about.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Hey, Alana.
Hello, MG.
Did you find that key?
What key?
To the supply room?
Find it?
Weren't you missing it?
MG, I don't lose my keys.
What? The other day, you were asking me if I'd seen it.
Seen what?
The key. The supply room key?
MG, there's a certain level of responsibility that goes along with being responsible for the supply room key. Which is why I'm the one who's responsible for it.
Oh. Okay, right. Because the cleaning lady left this on my desk with a post-it note that said 'bano' and I thought maybe this was the key you were looking for.
What? That? That's... I don't know what that is. But I'll take it. I'll take it and, and I'll turn it in to lost and found. Which, of course, is standard policy when you find something in the office that doesn't belong to you. Which you'd know, if you read the new edition of the employee handbook.
Employee handbook, Alana? Wow. I'm surprised you'd bring that up.
MG, you can really be a--
Easy, Alana. I do actually seem to recall a chapter in the employee handbook on 'creating a verbally positive and inclusive workplace environment.'
Hello, MG.
Did you find that key?
What key?
To the supply room?
Find it?
Weren't you missing it?
MG, I don't lose my keys.
What? The other day, you were asking me if I'd seen it.
Seen what?
The key. The supply room key?
MG, there's a certain level of responsibility that goes along with being responsible for the supply room key. Which is why I'm the one who's responsible for it.
Oh. Okay, right. Because the cleaning lady left this on my desk with a post-it note that said 'bano' and I thought maybe this was the key you were looking for.
What? That? That's... I don't know what that is. But I'll take it. I'll take it and, and I'll turn it in to lost and found. Which, of course, is standard policy when you find something in the office that doesn't belong to you. Which you'd know, if you read the new edition of the employee handbook.
Employee handbook, Alana? Wow. I'm surprised you'd bring that up.
MG, you can really be a--
Easy, Alana. I do actually seem to recall a chapter in the employee handbook on 'creating a verbally positive and inclusive workplace environment.'
|
